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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-07-04 04:02:08+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/throwra_lottery

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH for winning a couple of million on the lottery and giving half to my ex BEFORE I met my current girlfriend?

Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU

Trigger Warnings: infidelity, manipulation

Original Post: June 21, 2025

So I’m 35m and was with my ex from school until 5 years ago. We have a child together too that we both coparent really well. We never fall out and with each other but the love and attraction has all gone (she cheated on me but there’s more to the story than that and it’s not all on her).

Two years ago I happened to win around £4m on the lottery. My first thought was my child. I wanted him to grow up with an equal life like he has mine and the less stress his parents have the less stress he has. I decided to split the win with my ex. We have both been sensible with the money. I quit my job as a mechanic, took my sports and football coaching badges and with a friend we started a business going around primary schools doing classes in all sorts of sports and fitness and also helping out local sports clubs and teams with coaching and methods etc. It will never make us rich but we make around 1.5 times the national average wage. I bought a £300k house and a £40k car and that’s about it. My ex opened up a beauty salon that’s doing really well and also bought herself a house.

I met my current girlfriend on a night out around six months ago. Things have been going well. She knows I won the lottery and that’s why I’ve got a nicer house and car than my income will normally provide and why I like to go away on a couple of nice holidays a year. She’s never asked for anything from me materially and kept insisting on covering half the dates despite me offering to pay every time. We are getting more serious but nowhere near moving in or anything like that or her meeting my son yet.

It all came to a head last week when the subject of my ex came up and my girlfriend said how nice her beauty salon is. We were with a couple of my friends and one of them said “it should be nice Sam paid for it” she asked what he was talking about and before I could answer my friend said “he gave her two million quid”. My girlfriend was quiet for the rest of the night and then when we got back to mine she exploded and said I was still in love with her and that’s why I gave her the money, that I wasn’t normal, that no wonder a lottery winner only lives in a house like this and drives a shit car when I gave half away, that I was a gullible simp, how embarrassed she is by me, how “we” could be set for life with that money and never work again, etc etc. it went on for so long I told her to leave as I’m going to bed and not listening to this anymore.

I haven’t seen her since and she hadn’t answered my calls or replied to my messages apart from the odd insult until today when she said the only way she could stay with my is to ask my ex for whatever money she has left to be returned to me so she can save face. I told her no and I’m done with her. She again accused me of trying to buy back my ex and I blocked her.

Is this going to be a problem I have with other women going forward? AITAH for this?

AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received the majority of NTAs

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: dude, honestly, your ex is part of your kid’s life and you did the responsible thing. not everyone’s gonna get it, but if your girl can’t respect that, maybe she’s the problem. not everyone’s gonna vibe with your past or choices, and that’s okay. gotta pick people who actually get you.

OOP: That’s what I thought, I thought it was the right thing to do. Seemed unfair to live it up on my own while my ex and son struggle through on minimum wage.

Commenter 2: You dodged a bullet, mate. If she’s reacting like this over money that wasn’t even hers and was given away before she met you, imagine how controlling she’d be if you actually shared finances. Not the AH.

OOP: I agree but it’s surprising as she never asked for anything before. Even when her car broke down and I fixed it she tried to offer me money for it.

Commenter 3: NTA, but kind of not wise for giving her so much. Did you at least save some for your kid, or invest any of it?

OOP: Between what I have left and my life insurance my son will be left seven figures if anything happens to me.

Commenter 4: lol dude your chick is a gold digger in disguise, that money is none of her business and she has no say on what to do with it.

OOP: That’s what I’m feeling but she never asked for a penny before. Even when I repaired her car she tried to pay me.

Commenter 5: Some people will say you did too much, but at the time of your win, you and your ex had only been separated for a couple of years, and if you had won it when you were still together, you would have split it 50/50. I imagine it makes a lot of things easier for you as a co-parent knowing that you split the win with her, since she can never really say that you owe her anything for your child, and your child is well provided for.

OOP: It just felt right because what’s the point in my son having one rich parent and one struggling parent.

Commenter 6: NTA

the now ex is unhinged. You’re doing well for yourself and wanted to share that with your child who primarily lives with your ex which is honorable. Would she have rather the ex taken you to court for child support and monthly you’d have had to pay possibly more over 18 to 21 years? Wouldn’t she be more interested considering if something bad happened she now knows you’d take care of any future children and her?

She sounds materialistic by knocking down your house, car and I’m sure the job would have been next. You dodged a bullet and hopefully your child never met this gold digger because she isn’t worth much

OOP: My son never met her, I won’t introduce to someone until I know they are a life partner.

I was a bit upset with her knocking my house. I like my house. It’s not a big but it’s nice.

Update: June 27, 2025 (six days later)

Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/V5MeAMXlWU

Just a quick update as I got a lot of nice comments and messages on my original post.

She unblocked me and asked for forgiveness but I said no it’s gone too far and for me it’s over.

She didn’t take it very well and I got bombarded with abusive messages for a day or two but they’ve stopped today as have the phone calls from a withheld number.

A few people asked on the last post why I gave my ex half rather than put it in savings for our kid. Between us we have nearly a million that we have put aside for him that cannot be touched and will earn interest over the years.

As for the cheating which a lot of people mentioned, we were each others first for everything and we talked about it and both admitted a few years we felt a touch of regret. We both agreed to threesomes so over the course of the next year or so we had threesomes with a few men and a few women. Unfortunately she ended up catching feelings for one of the men.

Not the end of the world and no reason for us to fall out.

Relevant Comments

Downvoted Commenter: NTA but I kinda feel the most recent ex was onto something with regards to feelings. You’re either super mature and wise beyond your years or you are hoping to rekindle the relationship in future with the lass you gave the money to. I’m not saying you’re a bad guy, you’re obviously not, but it feels like you’re playing the long game 😂

OOP: She’s asked me back loads of times before the win and I said no so why would I need to pay her to come back?

Commenter 1: You’re a real man. You know that right? Like a real good one. Sacrificing half your wealth for the betterment of your child was a real power move in the realm of maturity in my opinion.

I think your kid is going to have a significantly more stable life because of your decision and receive the myriad of mental health benefits that accompany that. Be proud of yourself and screw the gold digger, someone like that isn’t worth a second thought to a man of your caliber.

OOP: You’re making me blush lol. Thank you.

Commenter 2: You’re definitely NTA but I do think you’re a little nuts for splitting 50/50 with an ex who cheated on you. I agree with many other commenters that it probably would’ve been better off in a trust for the kid, but what’s done is done and you seem at peace with it which is all that really matters. Glad to hear you cut off the gf though because she showed her true colors quickly.

OOP: He has around a million in a trust which will easily be over a million by the time he’s old enough.

I just didn’t see the point in having one parent who’s well off and another who’s scraping by. I wanted him to have an equal life not one extreme to the other.

Commenter 3: You’re a green flag. And in revealing so you’ve weeded out a red flag.

I’d almost suggest keeping your lotto win quiet for the next gf but i…

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