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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bettiola on 2023-09-01 23:06:07.

I was invited to be in my cousins wedding. NOBODY (and I mean nobody) in our family likes the groom. He’s rude to her at family gatherings, sits alone by himself, criticizes her every chance he gets in front of her family and is just an all around bad fit for her. Her parents think this, my immediate family all thinks and so does her immediate family.

Last X-mas, a month or so after he proposed to her, we all sat her down and told her that it was a bad idea to follow through with this and that he wasn’t right for her at all. She was balling her eyes out at the news of this. Leading up to their proposal, our family made it very clear to her that it wasn’t a good fit.

Nevertheless, they’re getting married next year. My cousin is someone who has struggled holding a boyfriend her entire life. And I believe she finally lowered her bar so far to find this dirtbag of a fiance that she can’t imagine leaving him now that she’s gotten this far into a relationship.

Now for my issue. I’m being asked to be in the wedding (I’ve only been in one wedding before (not including my own)) so I’m not quite sure how declining works. According to my sister (who’s been in MANY weddings), I cannot say no. If I were to say no, I’d be insulting the bride, groom, both their families and so on. She says if I am to decline I’d be creating ramifications that include being put on my aunt’s and uncle’s bad sides. Keep in mind, my Aunt and Uncle despise this guy.

I asked my mother the same thing and she said I could always decline and say it’s due to financial reasons. But my sister says that’s not good enough and that it will still create this detrimental divide between our families.

TLDR; AITA for wanting to decline being in a wedding I, and the rest of my entire family, don’t agree with? What’s the best way to go about this.