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The original was posted on /r/legalcatadvice by /u/Computer_Particular on 2025-07-07 19:21:18+00:00.

Dis frum all ob us. Howz we stahp dems? We hab skwerls here! Eben da chin skwerls.

G da void sez maybee we fakes bee in six?

Pwincess Fiona sez maybee she duz a ouchy meow cuz dat worries daddy.

Rutherford da gray suit sez he lubs habin da hole bed an da cuzin gibs him esstra churus. He lubs da mama da most buts sez he gets eben more lubs wen dey gets back.

Millicent da tortie just ekekekekekekeke at da birbs and skwerls all day.

Chin skwerl has bin doing a bark bark at dark times two keep dem sweepy

Da noodle takes hims skins off!! Mama finks dats gut dough. Hims strange.

N E offher crimez two do?