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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Helpful-Disaster-414 on 2023-09-02 18:35:24.

I 44f am married to 57m for 10 years together 19. My husband has a son 22m from his first marriage who moved back into our home 2 years ago after moving out of his moms home because he wasn’t getting along with his step dad. Prior to step son moving back into our home we set the expectations of living in our home (being respectful, keeping room clean, helping keep main house clean, being a good role model for his younger sister, and him saving money to move out on his own) nothing too out of the ordinary. As of today, step son has continued to involve himself in my husband’s and I’s disciplining of our other child (14f) (saying keeping good grades, going to college after high school, her taking her anxiety meds is our way of controlling her), he keeps his room filthy (dirty cloths, dishes, and empty food containers thrown about), stoped contributing to keeping main home clean saying it’s not his house so why should he contribute, ignores everyone in the home and walks by with zero acknowledgment that we are standing there saying he doesn’t have to acknowledge anyone if he doesn’t feel like it, hasn’t saved money even after working full time making $29 an hour but purchases very expensive clothing, we asked him to move out 3 months ago and says he hasn’t found anything with no ETA on when he will leave, told him if he wants to continue to live here he will start paying rent, he refuses to pay. All of this has created friction between my husband and I and husband will not kick step son out saying step son needs more time. My daughter has now started begging me to kick step son out or buy a house for just her and I to move to because brother won’t leave. I tried to talk to my husband about everything and how my daughter and I feel and he called me an asshole for wanting to break up the family. AITA?

Edit: Both my husband and I have tried talking to step son several times. At this point it feels like it’s a weekly thing. Trying to help him understand but nothing sinks in. I feel bad for my husband because he has cried over the situation but won’t force step son out. I know it’s hard on him and I’m just at a complete loss feeling that leaving is my only option.