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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/General_Version3929 on 2023-09-03 00:42:35.

My mom passed away 2 months ago, and my fiancé and I quickly became the sole guardians of my 3 younger siblings(16, 14, and 11). As much as I loved my mom, I know how hard it was growing up under her and how we didn’t have a lot, so when I left for college I did feel guilty leaving my siblings there knowing they wouldn’t have much, but I did so for this very reason, so that I could make enough money to get a house that allowed me to house all of them if needed. They understood why I had chosen to go away to college and didn’t resent me for leaving them there, which I’m so grateful for.

Although i am in the position where my siblings can stay with me for however long they need to, I won’t lie and say things haven’t been hard. Especially financially wise, I mean I went from just caring for myself, my fiancé, and our 2 dogs to caring, clothing, housing, and feeding 3 children who need stability. It was such a shocking flip to my world and I’m just trying my best to do what’s best for my siblings. However one thing 3 teenagers can do is eat. And I fully understand that we grew up in a household where we would have food one week and then be home dry the next two weeks, so we truly never knew when we’d eat a full meal again outside of school. Yet that is not a worry my siblings have had to face here, it takes some saving and budgeting but my fiancé and I have come up with a way where we can spend $1,400 a month to fully stock up the house. I have had small conversations about my siblings needing to be considerate of everyone in the house when it’s regarding food and telling them to just take what makes them full and leave enough for others to be full as well. I understand the resources guarding mindset is very hard to get out of, I really do, but what else can I do? Things got bad when my fiancé and I went grocery shopping at Costco on Thursday, and we usually buy a few snacks for the kids to snack on or take to school. We woke up Friday morning and within less than 24 hours all of the chocolate chip cookies were gone and it came in a pack of like 50.

I called everyone down and explained to them that I will never restrict access to ANY food from them, however they needed to be 100 percent considerate of everyone else in the house who also needed to have access to the same food and snacks as them. I told them that we were going to start learning about portion control and saving food for others and they all said that they understood and that was sort of the gist of it all.

The reason I’m asking if I’m TA because I went to my group for other people who have the same situation as me and talked about it, and another group member told me that I was being a terrible person by controlling what they ate, and that I was going to give them an ED. Im absolutely not trying to control their eating habits, I’m just trying to make sure everyone eats. AITA(if I am I will absolutely apologize to them and find ways to help.)