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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Murky_Excitement5129 on 2023-09-03 15:50:38.

My husband (37) and I (37) have been married for 10 years. Early on in our marriage, we separated and moved on to other people. To cut a long story short, I got pregnant by someone else, and unbeknownst to me, my husband allegedly got someone pregnant too. Despite having another man’s baby, whom I was casually dating, I reconciled with my husband after being single for two years (he knows and loves her). Fast-forward three months after I gave birth to my child, I received a Facebook message from the girl my husband was dating, informing me that she also had a baby and she was asking for certain things. I asked her about my husband’s response, but she never replied. Two years later, she messaged me again, inquiring about shoes and Christmas, but I chose not to respond. Now, four years later, she has contacted me once more (which I ignored), and she went as far as messaging my mother and one of my aunts. She also tagged me in a post and made nasty comments about me, as if I had wronged her in some way. I’m not sure what changed in four years, but why is she reaching out to me now? She seems to believe that I have control over my husband’s actions, but I can only offer him advice. I told him he should find out if the child is his and provide support if it is. Not everyone is like me (I’ll take care of my own, with or without him), and while I understand it’s difficult, I refuse to give my money to something I had no part in (I didn’t enjoy any of those five minutes). So, am I the asshole? By the way, I have four kids totaled and before I got back with my husband I asked for a divorce multiple times ( he never mention her and just said we can work things out)