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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OkLetterhead3791 on 2023-09-03 17:13:52.

My (39m) wife passed away five years ago, and I was left to raise our daughter (Alison, now 16) alone. I would say Alison and I have actually adjusted quite well, all things considered, and our relationship is fantastic. We are very close, and are a source of strength for each other. It has only been over the last year that I’ve felt that things have got to a level of normalcy for us.

My wife’s mother lives in the same town as us, and has been very helpful with things. I believe she views herself at times as a surrogate mother to Alison, stepping in to help from time to time. It has mainly been really good to have her in the picture, but over the last couple years, as my daughter has been in high school, my mother in law has started to overreach, in my view.

She has made the point that she thinks my daughter is clingy at times, calling me “daddy” still, that kind of thing, and that it’s “borderline inappropriate.”I have let her know that I appreciate her feedback, but prefer that she not be judgmental about our dynamic. She’s also been open with me about her concerns about my daughter’s posts on instagram, saying she is flaunting her body and there are too many bikini shots, etc. I have let her know that’s an area I am fine with just letting Alison express herself however she would like, and that it’s basically the trend for teens anyway.

My mother in law basically has said I need to adjust my parenting now that I have a 16 year old young woman in the house. I have (politely) let her know I will handle things how I see fit.

AITA? I feel like she is intruding, but I also order if I have a blind spot on some of this stuff as a dad.