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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Cautious_Proof9608 on 2025-08-02 20:42:58+00:00.

So I have tics. Harmless, right? WRONG.

I’m sitting on the city bus, minding my business, when Shaggy’s Mr. Bombastic starts playing on repeat in my head. Harmless, right? Suddenly, my mouth goes “MR. BOMBASTIC!” Guy behind me: “Mr. Lomba Lomba.” Me: ???! My soul left my body.

I was visiting this guy I was dating in the psych ward yes, I know, red flag factory He asks me sweetly, Can you grab me a hot cocoa from the café downstairs? Me, thinking I’m hilarious Sure, I’ll bring you back a big Black male stripper. We laugh. Ha ha. I walk off to get the cocoa like nothing happened. On my way back? BIGGEST Black male nurse I have ever seen. My brain don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it My mouth “OOOOH, THERE’S the HOT COCOA stripper!” To. His. Face. I could feel Satan laughing from hell.

Someone once told me this dark joke about musicians fingering a minor. My brain stored it for later Fast f orward to Walmart. I’m in the baking aisle. An elderly Catholic lady is right next to me. My brain: hey remember that joke? My mouth: “Finger a minor.” At full conversational tone. The lady glares at me like I just confessed to a felony. I SPRINTED out of that store so fast

TL;DR: TIFU by having tics that turned me into a public menace: sang Shaggy on a bus, hit on a nurse by accident, and scared a old lady in Walmart