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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Puzzled_Experience11 on 2023-09-04 12:19:38.

I have three kids with my ex-wife Sammie. We divorced when our youngest was still a baby. Our kids are now 11, 10 and 8. Sammie has been married to Joe for the last two years.

Sammie and I disagreed a lot on parenting which is ultimately what drove us apart. We did mediation and co-parenting classes during our divorce (recommended by the judge). The recommendation was that we communicate about schedules and parenting conflicts on the Our Family Wizard App. But to try and work on coming together for our kids. So we did just that. Discussed parenting via the app and tried to show we could be civil in front of our kids. We even did some joint parties together for birthdays and such.

Ever since Sammie married Joe things have changed. He’s a lot more strict than Sammie and he has undermined me in front of the kids a number of times, and both Sammie and Joe have become annoyed when the kids listened to me over Joe.

Examples: Our 11 year old had a family day to raise money for his (rec) football team. We went together and it was my parenting time so the kids were home with me that week. They had lemonade there for people to drink and water and fruit juice. My oldest wanted lemonade and asked me if he could get some. I said of course and said after me that he could not, that he was only allowed water and knew that. I encouraged him to go ahead and told them that the kids are allowed more than water with me. That same day my youngest wanted to join his older siblings on the bounce house. I said sure and I would go watch to make sure he was okay. Joe said it was not a good idea and he should stay with them. Another time at my daughter’s birthday party at my house and my parenting time she wanted to know if I would come and let her and the other kids bounce me around on the bounce house. Joe butted in and said he didn’t want her having an adult on with kids.

This kind of thing happens frequently. I have mentioned it to them that I do not appreciate it and I do not interfere on their parenting time. But I have been dismissed repeatedly and Joe has told me that I am not a good parent and they don’t approve.

So I decided no more joint stuff like this. We can attend the same functions but we should not all sit together and stop with the throwing joint parties with both sides. I spoke to my kids and they said it might be better since their mom and Joe don’t like when they listen to me over Joe. I informed my ex and Joe and they said I was an ass and was not putting the kids first. I responded that it was them not putting the kids first by disrespecting me in front of the kids.

AITA?