This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/heavendancer on 2025-08-14 17:17:30+00:00.

My mother is toxic and likes to have unspoken rules for me that I never know exist until I break them. However, I have one time in my life where I broke one but decided she was going to eat her own words because I had enough.

A few years ago, her birthday in May landed on a weekday with Mother’s Day that weekend. I was busy at work that week and was already working weekends and overtime. But I always made sure to remember her birthday and Mother’s Day. I bought her presents, sent her a birthday card and Mother’s Day card, texted her a happy birthday and Mother’s Day and even gave a very well thought out post on her FB. It’s all I had time for. However, I never heard a word from her. She didn’t call me, nor did I get a text if she even received the present that I sent her. No thank you’ s, nothing. I was too busy to even ask about it and with her typical behavior of ignoring me I just didn’t press her about it.

In December a special event came up in my life which I told her about several times. My sister had similar events, and my mother always remembered hers. So, when it came and went with her saying nothing, I brought it up over text. I was told that she “didn’t realize it was important to me”. I was upset and admittedly angry over once again being ignored and forgotten about. Cue her usual deflection in which she then turned the entire argument around on me and that’s when I found out she did receive my present - 7 months later! She then told me, and I quote, “You didn’t think it hurt my feelings when you didn’t bother to call me on my birthday or Mother’s Day? Sorry but Facebook cards just don’t get it and neither does texting;”. Fine. Cue my malicious compliance.

For the next year she never got a text, a FB post, birthday present, Mother’s Day present, Christmas present etc. But she got her phone call on her birthday and holidays. Phones calls are the ONLY thing she received because as she said, other forms of communication and thoughtful gestures didn’t cut it.

After a year of this, my mother sends in her reliable flying monkey. My sister calls me to tell me that, “Mom doesn’t think you love her because you don’t send her presents anymore.” I’d like to say I stood my ground but at the time I was still a doormat, so the malicious compliance ended. I’m no contact with my family now but to this day…it makes me proud that for once I used her words against her and set a boundary. She never said that to me again, so it was worth it! :)