This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MissLouann_ on 2023-09-04 14:54:38.

For context, my parents divorced when I was really young and my mom got full custod of me. She accepted to let me visit my dad during hollidays and a weekend every two weeks.

For as long as I remember, my dad used to have differents girlfriends but he always had his own appartement in wich I had my own room, until five years ago. He started dating a women and they dated for five years before they broke up, but for most of this time, we lived in her house. She has two kids but the house only had three bedrooms, so I slept in the same room as my stepsister during the dive years. For the first year, they could not afford a real bed, so my “bed” was just a matress on the floor. Then I got a real bed, I was in a bunk bed and the whole time, my stepbrother had his own room. Since I didn’t had my own room, it was difficult for me to focus entirely on my school work, plus I didn’t really had any privacy and couldn’t isolate myself. During all those five years, my dad promised me that I would have my own room soon when they would have to money. I did not really belived this since he often bought expensive things (new computer, vacation all inclusive with stepmom. I never told anything because I did not want him to be mad at me, I wad really shy and anxious at the time, even with my own family.

They broke up recently and my dad went back to living with his parents since the house belongs to my ex-stepmom. And since she threw away most of his stuff he must by new furnitures.

I still don’t have my own rool at my grandparents, I sleep in my dad’s room when I go ther and he take the couch (it can change into a bed, I don’t know if there is a word for it). There are stuff in this room that belong to both of my grandparents and my dad so I really can’t tell them to not come in, even if I am working for school. Plus my grandparents wake up at 6 every morning and don’t care if they wake us up or not, so we also wake up very early. My dad is still promising me that he will find a flat where I have my own room, but I never see him searching.

I think the final straw was when I learned that he is not saving money like he told me he was, since he went to a trip to Egypt, without telling me.

School year is starting really soon (tomorrow for me) and I really need to focus on my work, since it is the last year before graduation and if I can’t sleep on the weekends because of my grandparents, I am going to die of stress.

I talked to my mom about not going to my dads house the whole weekend and not sleeping there anymore and she is entirely on my side. She helped me figure out a way to tell my dad and I told him yesterday. He try to convice me not to do that but I told him that I already made my decision. He was sad that we would not see each other as much but agreed to do that.

My mom told me that she is proud of me for expressing what I want and need and qu ama proud of myself to, but I still feel bad for my dad, he looked really sad with this.

Am I the asshole ?