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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Electrical_Lab_8570 on 2023-09-04 20:10:15.

My husband and I have been foster parents for over a decade. 2 months ago, we had 4 minor children living in our home. Our 12 year old biological son, our 8 and 5 year old adopted sons, and our 21 month old foster son. Our 22 year old foster daughter also still lives at home with us and my 19 year old son spent the summer back home after his freshman year of college. (We also have other adult children that don’t live at home but not really relevant.)

7 weeks ago, we got a call for an emergency placement of 5 siblings (17f, 12f, 10m, 7f, 6m). We only had 2 spare bedrooms but had enough spare beds in storage to make it work with the girls in one room and the boys in the other.

It now looks like we are going to be fostering the 5 of them for considerably longer than we thought when they were placed with us. Because of the large age gaps between the girls, having them share more long term isn’t really ideal.

We already moved the boys a few weeks ago. We bought a triple bunk for our 8 and 5 year old’s room and moved the 6 year old in with them, and put the 10 year olds bed into our 12 year olds room. This allowed the 17 year old girl to get her own room and the 2 younger girls to share. None of this created any drama and the boys were all more than happy to share rooms with each other.

Now that my 19 year old is going back to college we discussed and eventually agreed on turning his bedroom into a room for our 12 year old girl so she has her own space away from her little sister. He wasn’t impressed when I brought up the idea but agreed. However, before he left back for college a few days ago, he got into an argument with my husband complaining it’s unfair he’s lost his room and that he has nowhere to go when he comes back home now.

My other adult son also contacted me about the situation to essentially tell me it was a bad idea and that his brother is really upset and just because he’s been away for college a year doesn’t mean he is ready to lose his spot in the house.

Last year we didn’t need the extra space, so his room stayed empty when he was at college. This year it makes no sense to leave a bedroom empty and to make 2 girls 5 years apart in age share a room. He is still welcome home whenever and if things change (eg he drops out) we can rearrange things again. Losing his room is temporary as we don’t normally have so many foster kids. When our other kids/grandkids visit they happily use an air mattress in the den or bunk with a sibling and he can do the same on his school breaks. He will most likely have his room back by next summer and if not, we will figure out solutions then. I have explained all this to him but he’s not hearing me.

AITA? I’ve bought new décor etc for the room and plan on decorating and moving our foster daughter in tomorrow.