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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway618311 on 2023-09-04 18:30:53.

So my husband and I have 3 sons (12, 12, 10). We also have my husband’s niece over during the summer since 2021 due to various reasons. Niece is 9.

My husband and I make a good living which is why we are able to have a big enough house that even niece has her own room. And because I enjoy it and the kids love it, I help them decorate their room however they want and I really let them go crazy with it. It does get expensive especially for 3 boys with very different interests but it’s fun.

My niece also has a well decorated room. She adores Aurora/sleeping beauty so that’s the theme for her room. I didn’t necessarily ask her mother for permission as all she’s said is “Just make sure it’s appropriate for a little girl.”

So I did. She has a massive princess bed with a princess curtain, her walls are pink and my husband and I painted a castle on one of the walls. She also has a doll house and a princess chair with fairy lights on it. There’s also a framed photo of the prince fighting Maleficent. It’s her favorite scene from the movie. We spent a lot of time on this room but it was all ready before she officially moved in for her first summer with us. Till very recently, sil hadn’t seen the room.

She was picking my niece up a couple days ago to go back home and finally checks out the room. She calls me stupid the second she sees it. She says she knows I’m a boy mom but she didn’t think I’d be this bad with little girls. I still have no idea what she’s talking about until she starts criticizing every bit of niece’s room. Basically, she was upset because the room is so stereotypically girly and there’s a framed photo of the prince fighting the evil villain and rescuing the princess. I don’t think it matters but my niece always talks about being a princess and has said that she wants a prince to save her. I had no clue my SIL was trying to make her stop thinking like this, it was never mentioned to me.

Sil was so pissed off saying that she should’ve known I was encouraging her daughter’s sexist and misogynistic dreams to make my sons lives easier and she said she was thankful I didn’t have any daughters because if I did, she’d get a boring princess room while my sons all have very fun and diverse themes. I apologized and she left angrily.

I don’t know what to think. As a woman, I know how harmful certain stories can be. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be saved by a prince at 9 years old. I wanted to be saved by one till I was like 16 but I never let that stop me from doing my own thing. But I suppose since sil is a single mother and feels strongly about not needing a man, that I should’ve been more aware. She isn’t silent about her views either so I guess I was being pretty stupid. We could’ve decorated her room differently.