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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Expensive-Fly2886 on 2023-09-05 03:18:56.

This situation started when my (20F) friend (22F), who I’m going to call Emma, asked me to get some coffee with her, and her Muslim friend, let’s call her Sarah, who’s studying abroad here in America.

Now I should probably mention, Emma is a really adamant leftist, one of those liberal arts degree types who call themselves “white allies”, you know the type.

So I was in the shower getting ready to head out, but my girlfriend decided to do laundry at the worst time possible, and almost all my clothes were in the washer, so there were only two tops I had available: a really thick wool sweater (it was really hot outside) and a t-shirt with a lesbian flag on it.

Now, I’m usually not a fan of wearing any sort of pride flag merchandise, but I didn’t think much of it and put on the lesbian flag shirt.

So the three of us met at the coffee shop, and Sarah seemed like a really nice girl. We each ordered a pastry and talked for a little while, and I honestly thought everything went super well.

That was until Emma came up to me the next day, and told me that after I had left, Sarah told her that she felt like I was disrespecting her religion, because I mentioned that I had a girlfriend (I mentioned that my girlfriend had the same breed of cat as her) and also wore a shirt with a lesbian flag on it. And even accused me of FLIRTING with her. (Apparently being friendly and nice is considered flirting now?)

I was a bit stunned at first, and wasn’t sure if Emma was being serious, but then she proceeded to tell me that I owe Sarah an apology for disrespecting her culture and religion.

I told her that when Sarah travels to America, or any other western country for that matter, she should expect to meet different types of people who share different types of values, and that nobody should hide a part of themselves that they can’t control to cater to her religion, especially in a non-Islamic country, and if she doesn’t like that, then perhaps she should consider going back to her predominantly Muslim country, where gay people aren’t legally allowed to exist.

Now in hindsight, I could’ve worded this way better without sounding like a “go back to yer’ country” type of person, but I think my point still stands. If you don’t like the morals or values of a particular country, don’t travel to that country. It’s as simple as that.

Emma audibly gasped when I said this, and began telling me how I had the audacity as a white person to insinuate that Sarah should go back to her own country, and started shouting at me.

I myself am an immigrant from a conservative Eastern European country, and I didn’t come all the way to America just so I could hide who I am to avoid “offending” anyone with my sexuality.

Now Emma is telling all of our mutual friends that I’m “racist” and “Islamophobic”. Thankfully most of our friends are on my side, but there are a few that stopped talking to me because of this situation.

Am I the racist asshole here, or am I being somewhat reasonable?