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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/I_am_trash_yo on 2023-09-05 03:24:51.

I (23 F) have lived with my fiancé’s (23 M) family for 2 years. My fiancé just told me his parents are planning a family trip to Florida (where I really wanted to go for my birthday but didn’t because of health issues) for 4 days the week before Thanksgiving to go to Disney and all that, and I’m not invited.

Important back story I was just recently diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It can cause thinks like rapid heart rate, high blood pressure, dizziness, fainting, trouble breathing, etc. I’ve been to the ER twice in less then 4 months once by ambulance. Needless to say it’s not safe for me to be home alone.

My immediate reaction was what the fuck? I asked him am I not family? I told him that I was upset and he was like “there’s nothing I can do” but he could. He could fight for me to be able to go or not go himself. And I told him I wouldn’t let my family do that to him, I wouldn’t let anyone exclude him especially if he was disabled. He insists there is nothing he could do and he’s gonna go so I’m sitting here rethinking our relationship cause to me this is fucked up that I will be left home alone to take care of all of our animals plus his brothers animals by myself for 4 days knowing I will struggle and it could be dangerous for me to be home alone.

I feel like I might be TAH because I’m obviously not entitled to go on the trip but I also think it’s shitty that I’ve lived here for 2 years being part of the family just to be excluded from a “family” trip. Part of me thinks it’s because of my illness they just don’t want to deal with me. And I’m even more hurt that my fiancé is okay excluding my.

TLDR fiancés family is leaving me behind while they go on a family trip and I’m upset.

EDIT: before anyone is confused I don’t except them to pay for me, they are paying for their 4 sons, but Im not even being given the option of paying for myself. And I do pay rent here it’s not much but it’s as much as I can afford.

Also to avoid answering the same complaints over and over again,

if they did parks and rides I’d be fine staying in the hotel room or hotel pool to avoid the heat and loads of walking. I also have a wheelchair for when we go out to try and avoid being dizzy and walking to keep my heart rate low. Being disabled doesn’t mean I can’t exist outside my home. I definitely need to be more careful but it doesn’t mean I can’t exist outside the house

I don’t have family or really any friends that could help nearby. He and I knew that when I moved here 2 years ago if anything were to happen he’s all I have.

I would never demand that he stays home, I voiced my concerns to him and left it at that. I don’t expect him to wait on my hand and foot. If there was an emergency he’d end up coming home.

I’m fine to be left in a hotel all day I am worried about being left alone for days, no I don’t expect to be “gallivanting” around Disney if I were to go, I just want to be near him if there was an emergency rather then waiting for him to try and get a flight home. I know my limits, I have no interest in pushing them.

I have no issue with them wanting to go on a trip and spend time with their sons, im worried about the safety of being left alone for days and the possibility of him having to catch an emergency fight home. Im said it’s framed as a family trip but im not being seen as family while being told I am family. We’ve been together since 2016 im in no way new to them.