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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/alliecatmeow on 2023-09-05 13:05:47.

Hey everyone, my fiancé (M42) and I (F35) have been together 5+ years. For some context, I am a small business owner and I was able to buy the house we currently live in. My fiancé did not put any money down in that process. I also have paid for fixes. Small and large. Electrical, major plumbing, ect.

Our basement flooded a few months ago and after my homeowners insurance claim came through, I started using it to pay myself back + fix the basement. I ended up hiring a concrete contractor to encapsulate our asbestos tile in the basement. He did a terrible job. BUT it is covered. So despite it looking ugly and not using enough material, the asbestos is encapsulated. I paid 2k for that.

Lil not so fun fact: My fiancé pays half the mortgage but ANYTIME there is a fight he threatens to take his payment away. Says things like “YOUR house” or “YOUR lawn” Or talks to me like I’m his shitty landlord.

This brings me to yesterday.

Up until yesterday the plan was to stain and seal the basement floor and move on. Well, I get a text around noon yesterday and it’s my fiancé going on about sinking more money into the basement floor.

He now wants me to spend another 3.2k on more concrete/water proofing. I told him no and that we can just seal it and throw some rugs down to save money.

He has been flipping out on me since. Calling me a gollum with my money. Saying I don’t care about him, threatening to not pay his half of the mortgage. Sending me text after text and then getting home and yelling at me. I told him I don’t feel well as I’m taking meds for some skin issue right now and he wouldn’t let up. He also told me how he phoned his friends throughout the day to tell them the situation and how they think I am disregarding his feelings. He said he refuses to go down there until it’s done, and if I don’t give him $ he is going to pay for it but then refuse to pay half the mortgage. So at this point I have to just give him the money to make him happy and avoid issues.

I slept on the couch last night because I didn’t want to be near him. Not because I’m afraid, more so because he is giving me major ick and I really don’t like him right now.

I really truly don’t understand why we should put a total of over 5k into a concrete floor. Like dude….it’s a floor. If I want to spend another 3k I’ll treat the current concrete as a sub floor and then lay something better on top. I’m starting to think my partner is a giant man baby.

So AITA and should I put out more money to “finish” the basement the way my fiancé wants?