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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ObviousNecessary5383 on 2023-09-05 16:56:14.

AITA for not cancelling my wedding to pay for my nieces chemo. Sorry if this is worded badly, i’ve been trying to put this into words and it’s hard. I (34F) and my fiancé (37F) have been planning our dream wedding for years. We are not very well off financially but we are making do with what we have, don’t get me wrong i couldn’t be more grateful. For some background, my family are not extremely excepting of me and my wife, not downright homophobic just a little judgemental. Except my sister. My sister (42F) has very strong religious beliefs, and has also raised my niece (21F) the same way. Not that that’s my issue. A few months ago my niece was diagnosed with lung cancer, due to excessive years of vaping and smoking. My family is taking this news very hard. 5 days ago, my sister and niece knocked on my door, when my fiancé wasn’t home, and said they wanted to talk. I let them in, and they then asked if i would be willing to donate money for her chemotherapy. I was happy to donate a few hundred dollars but when i asked how much they said they would want me to pay the whole amount (about $20,000). I said no as i did not have the all that money. They then suggested for me to cancel my wedding. I said no way, as we’ve been saving money for the wedding for years and it would take us ages to save up all that money again. I told them i would take a couple hundred out of my savings but nothing else. My sister told me to grow up and pay because it’s ‘not even a real wedding’ (because we’re gay). After hearing that comment i told them to get out of my house and i will not be donating anything. They started to argue and i just pushed them out and slammed the door in their faces. Since then, my family has bombarded me and my fiancé with messages saying i’m an asshole for not giving up the money. My fiancé, who has more of a backbone than me said not to deal with their bs and if they wanted the money so bad my whole family could pool together (i have a big family). I feel bad for my niece, especially since my sister being her mother made her this way. But if she won’t figure out her behaviour is wrong, i won’t be donating anything. Also i kinda feel as it’s kinda her vault for her cancer because if she didn’t smoke/vape she wouldn’t be in this situation (i know that’s bad but i can’t help feeling that way) So, AITA?