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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sal-Ted-Cara-Mel on 2023-09-05 18:13:42.

My husband has been giving a percentage of his pay each month to his parents ever since he started working - all in the name of fillial piety. I am ok with this as it is his money and he can do whatever he wants

Recently a few events have happened that had us questioning if the amount is too much.

  • Husband’s family has a live-in helper. His parents are retired and healthy and are not in need of full time help. This is also costly and requires more than what he gives parents monthly
  • we found out that younger sister has been bringing her whole family of four to parent’s house frequently for free meals. Also brings back laundry from her whole family back to parent’s house for Helper to do. Orders Helper over to her house weekly to clean her house and toilets. She contributed the same as my husband but wants to make use of the helper
  • younger brother brought his wife to stay after they got married a few months ago
  • oldest brother has not been holding a full time for a long time. Has not contributed any bit to household but living in parent’s basement rent-free
  • parents sees their friends going on retirement trip to uk. Wants to also do so but apparently they said they do not have enough to do so - their friends are those who can afford to splurge on their holidays (think five star hotels etc) . They want their kids to all chip in to fully pay for their dream of travelling with friends. This amounts to at least a thousand dollars additional
  • husband and I are staying at my house
  • recently we wanted to try for a child. Found out that we may need some help : may have to do an iui. Issue did not lie with me

I raised to my husband that we may have to start saving up more as medical procedures do cost quite a bit. And he agreed. He even offered to cut down his monthly allowance to his family And between us, we’ll both contribute slightly more to our shared fund

2 months has passed I found out that he has not contributed more to our shared fund. Asked him about the plans he said he would do. He got angry instead saying I was controlling how he wanted to spend his money. AITA for holding him accountable and insisting he do what he said he would do?