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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fritolayobjection on 2023-09-06 00:57:05.

My husband (30m) and I (32f) married about 7 months ago. Prior to this he was engaged to his ex girlfriend, but they broke up due to incompatibility in the bedroom. However, they had met in middle school and were best friends prior to them dating. So they were best friends for at least 8 or 9 years before they started dating, and then they dated for 8 years (and were engaged) before parting ways amicably. He expressed to me when we first started dating that it was important to him that they maintain their friendship as she was his closest friend. I’ve never seen him make any sort of sexual advances towards her nor have I gotten any indication from either of them that there is any romantic interest remaining - it seems purely, truly platonic. I’ve never met her but I know they text and stuff and he’ll sometimes go over and help her fix stuff if she needs help. If it helps they both grew up in a poor neighborhood and were really each other’s source of support throughout the years emotionally. He often says he doesn’t know where he’d be without her.

So the scenario in question- it was her birthday a few weeks ago and she invited both of us to her birthday dinner. I’ve never met her and I knew a bunch of people they knew in high school were going to be there and I wasn’t going to know anyone so to be honest I said I didn’t want to go and said he could go. Up until the day of the dinner I kept telling him it was ok when he asked. He even asked in the morning when she messaged him to confirm. However as the time got closer I started to get a horrible feeling and began getting nauseous and dizzy. I felt sick to my stomach and I told him I wanted him to stay home with me because I was sick. By the time he told her it was only about 30 minutes until the dinner started and she was absolutely livid. She told him she was disappointed that he told her so late because she was already at the venue and started crying because he had never missed a birthday of hers since they met 18 years ago. Eventually she got over it and forgave him and said she understood that I was his priority but she thinks I’m wrong for what I did. I think as his wife it doesn’t matter when I start to feel uncomfortable, he shouldn’t be going to an event for his ex when I’m sick. Their friendship is really hard to navigate so I don’t know, AITA? She sure seems to think so but isn’t holding a grudge, it’s more of a “haha ur wife is a bitch” type thing is what I’m gathering.