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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IMighthavefuckedup97 on 2023-09-06 02:09:05.

I might have fucked up.

Me (32M) and my best friend Alex (32M) have been friends since diapers, we’re basically family. After college we both moved back home so we could live at home and get our feet underneath us. Alex started dating Stella (35F), a lovely girl, around 4.5 years ago, and from the get go she seemed to politely dislike me, idk why, oh well c’est la vie. Alex and Stella moved across the country in 2021 after Stella earned a promotion at work, In 2022 Alex proposed, she said yes, and they set a wedding date for the end of September 2023.

I got a save the date card at the beginning of the year, and based on the conversations I had with Alex assumed I would be in the wedding party, either as a groomsman or the best man, but never received any official confirmation from either of them. Couple months before the wedding I saw that wedding invitations had gone out on social media, and figured mine was on route. It never came. I waited a couple weeks, figured it might have just gotten lost in the mail, before I checked in with him.

I called Alex and had a brief conversation with him where he was clearly agitated and said he was dealing with a lot, would be incommunicado for the near future, to direct any wedding related questions to Stella, and he’d called me when things cooled off. I called, texted, and emailed Stella several times over the course of a week but she didn’t respond to any of them. At this point I figured I wouldn’t be attending the wedding, and that things were really fucked up for some reason between the two of us.

Yesterday, a little over three weeks after our last conversation, Alex dm’d asking if I was free to chat. I jumped at the opportunity to get some answers, and after exchanging pleasantries Alex jumped right into a spiel saying that he knew I was super busy with work and dealing with a lot of personal stuff but he’d love it if it could attend his wedding, even just as a guest, and wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help make that happen. I just blurted out that I’s love to but hadn’t received an invitation. Alex stared blankly at me and said “what?”, and i just kinda verbal vomited out that I hadn’t received an invitation, that was the reason I’d called him a few weeks ago, that I’d contacted Stella about it but she never got back too me and left me on read, and that I had not idea what he was talking about me dealing with too much to be involved in the wedding. After a very pregnant pause, he said he needed to go sort things out, and that he’d call me when it was done.

My phones blowing tf up since with wedding attendees asking me wtf happened and why the wedding might be off now. My girlfriend has reaffirmed to me that I did nothing wrong, but I’ve had people from all sides saying I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong, and caused a stink, which is really fucking with my head. AITA?

EDIT: after he dmed me we switch to video chat, meant to include that whoops