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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ladywinterbear on 2023-09-06 06:01:51.

We do arranged marriages in my culture. I’m 21(f). Someone let my father know about this one suitor that they thought my father would like. He’s a doctor. Supposedly has good character. And is a match for me and our family according to my parents. I said no. I was always taught to just say yes to every decision my parents made for me on my behalf. I was always taught that my decisions will always be in the hands of either my father/my mother/my older brother/my husband. Never myself. I was told that dressing the way I feel comfortable was arrogant (even if my dress was modest). I was told I was arrogant for asking my mother “Isn’t it my hair? Why shouldn’t I style it the way I like it?”. They told me I was ruining my chance at a good life because I’m refusing to say yes to any good marriage proposals. I’ve told them way before that I don’t want to get married any time soon. I already love someone, but they cannot know that. Because it is shameful in our culture. I feel really guilty for saying no. I feel so arrogant. I feel like a brat. My mother has been so harsh with me about it. And so dramatic too. Such things are so so so normal here. I don’t know what to think. Or feel. I honestly want all of it to just end. I’m tired of fighting for everything that should just not be withheld from me.