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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2025-09-12 04:00:18+00:00.
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/AsYourDoctor
Crazy coworker [26F] is texting me [24M] telling me how much she is interested on me, trying to schedule to meet me after work, even though she knows I’m married and totally not interested.
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional infidelity, sexual harassment, obsessive behavior
MOOD SPOILER: Loco
Original Post March 28, 2017
First of all, sorry english is not my first language.
So, it is as the title says.
We work at the same office, she sits on the desk across from mine and is married as well as I’m, and recently we’ve been talking more with each other, but nothing out of the ordinary. (I have a good relationship with pretty much everyone here, except for Carl - fuck you Carl and your credit stealing habits!)
Just cheap chat about regular stuff (how was the weekend, look this funny video, what do you think about this, that, etc).
Then she started texting telling me that she is surprised about how easy is to talk to me and how she enjoys how the conversation just flows. And I was “cool, me too, you’re nice.”
Last week I left my car at the Auto Repair, since the brake started to make a funny noise, and since she lives 2 blocks away from where I live, I asked for a ride home.
We are on traffic going home, talking about regular stuff, then she brings the subject again about how nice our convesations have been, and I agree. I have plenty female friends, so this is not uncommon for me.
Then she starts talking about how interesting is that we have some different opinions about stuff but we get along well anyways, and I’m “yeah, sure”.
This is when I noticed things got fuckin’ weird. She then says she started looking at me differently, and that she’s attracted by me and put her hand on my tight.
I thanked her and told she’s nice and good-looking, but we’re just collegues, we’re both married, I respect her but I’m not interested, so no way anything is going to happen.
The rest of the ride was an awkward silence.
When I got home, she kept texting me about how we’re getting along so well and stuff, how she is not in the best moment in her marriage, etc. Then I received a lot of instagram notifications of her mass-liking my photos.
I replied the texts trying not to be rude, saying that maybe she should use her energy and time to resolve the problems she is having at home instead of… this. At this point I think she is crazy and the best way to avoid any problems is to just dismiss the crazy shit she is saying and keep it cool and distant, since we work together in a 55 people company.
She says it’s not just physical attraction, and that she’s jealous and can’t stand see my wife’s posts on instagram with me. Red alert!
And now she wants to meet me after work or during the lunch brake out of the office, to talk about things.
I haven’t told any of this to my wife yet, and I was not planning to do so, since she is way too stressed out recently with her job and some problems with her parents.
So I’d like to know from the All-Might & All-Knowing Reddit how:
- To avoid this crazy lady getting more crazy and try cause problems at work and with my marriage?
- Wives of reddit, if you were my wife, would you like me to tell you what’s happening or just deal with it?
My plan so far is to let her know AGAIN that I’m not interested, just play it cool and dismiss what she is saying, slowly decreasing the number of interaction we have until everything fades into a regular coworker stuff.
tl;dr: crazy married female collegue wants me, but I’m just want her to stop being crazy. How to do that? Should I tell my wife (stressed about other stuff) what’s going on or just deal with it?
TOP COMMENT
sandman_42
You need to tell two people:
Your wife.
Human resources.
Show them the texts, including your requesting that she stop contacting you/hitting on you.
You need to tell your wife and HR because this could easily spiral out of control, and you need to be on top of the story. Also, you gotta trust your wife man.
Then, STOP talking to this coworker about anything that isn’t directly work related.
Update - rareddit Apr 12, 2017 (2 weeks later)
Sorry it took so long to update you!
First of all, thanks for all the advice. Since it was the first time this happened to me in such a blunt way, I tried to handle it the best I could, but I was kind of lost about what to do. So thanks again, your advices really helped me.
Following your advices, I got home yesterday, asked my wife to sit down and told her what was going on. I showed her all the messages and explained to her in details what happened.
She was really concerned, didn’t get mad or anything, she was just worried that - using her words -, “that bitch would ruin your carreer and stress you out”.
So I told her I would talk to my boss and the HR next day, and so I did.
I arrived earlier, scheduled the meeting with HR and my boss (he went pale went I told him I’d like to talk with him and HR together - later he said he thought I would quit, haha!).
I sat down with them, asked them to be prepared for a mexican soap opera, and them showed them all the messages and explain to them all that happened.
I told them I’d like her to be moved to another desk, and that I trusted them to discipline her, so she would stop harassing me.
They listen very quietly, nodding between the sentences and doing quick question when in doubt.
After I finished telling my tale they said they would call her in to talk and address the subject, and that I could rest assured they would take all reasonable measures.
I went back to my desk, got to work (I was going on a business trip to Ciudad de Mexico following week, so I’m pretty busy), then I heard the BSCC phone (short for bat-shit-crazy-coworker) ring. She looked at me with suspicious on her eyes when she got up and went to talk to the HR, I tried to avoid eye contact and didn’t express anything.
One hour later she comes back crying, get her purse and leave.
Everybody in the office was “wtf just happened?”. My boss then call me into his office and told me what happened.
They told her I told them what was going on, then she made a whole dramatic shit show, telling she was in love with me and was fighting for what she thought was right, etc etc etc.
My boss and the HR person dismissed her silly arguments and told her she would need to keep things professional and move to another desk, otherwise they would have rescind the work contract.
And she prefered to get fired, so from now on she no longer works with me. It has been 2 weeks and so far nothing related to the subject happened, so I guess my life is back the way I like it: just peace and quiet.
So, thanks again for all advices! I think my thoughts were kind of clouded by this shit, you guys made me think clearly, so thanks!
tl;dr: Told my wife, she was awesome. Told boss and HR, they were awesome. Crazy bitch was fired, which is awesome. I have my life back: peace and quiet.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
DiTrastevere
“They told her I told them what was going on, then she made a whole dramatic shit show, telling she was in love with me and was fighting for what she thought was right, etc etc etc.”
Wow…this woman is mentally ill. No joke. She is completely detached from reality if she’s pulling shit like this when facing both her boss and HR. That is unhinged.
Keep a sharp eye out, OP. She knows where you live and she’s no longer constrained by the prospect of losing her job. Don’t hesitate to call the police if she shows up.
siasin
This!
OP, if possible have your boss and HR give you something in writing about what happened in case you need it for documentation purposes with the authorities. You might also want to write out your own quick log of everything that happened and when while it is still fresh in your mind. Check into what your legal options might be just in case.
I know it sounds like overkill, but trust me-you don’t want to let your guard down just yet. This woman is potentially dangerous.
backseat_adventurer
I agree with all this! I would just add that the messages etc. she left should be kept too. Better to not need them than to regret trashing them.
OOP
Guys, thanks for this. I think I’ve been a little naive believing this would stop now. Following your comments here I wrote my logs, made a back up of all the messages and requested the HR for a formal letter explaining what happened.
I was considering going to a police station and check what I could do to get this registered, in case anything happens. But I don’t think this is necessary, with all the other measures I took.
~
RedditRebirth2
My question is was she always this crazy, or are you that good looking and char…
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