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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-09-12 04:02:07+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/DefinitionFamous9656

Originally posted to r/RealEstateAdvice

real estate agent (and friend) won’t let me see my dream home

Glossary - EF: Ex-Friend

Trigger Warnings: breach of professional ethics

Mood Spoilers: appalling

Original Post: August 20, 2025

I am torn… I’ve been looking for a new home, and my good friend is a real estate agent, so I signed an exclusive buyer’s agent agreement with him. Seemed the right thing to do since we’re friends, and I trusted him to have my back.

The problem is that the perfect house just came on the market. It checks every box on my list, and I’m honestly almost ready to offer (without even seeing it), but he completely shut me down. He got angry and told me he won’t let me see it, that I shouldn’t even consider it.

After much pushing, he told me that because the listing agent is his ex (which I already knew! We are friends! I know his ex, never liked him, but it was his choice) it would be “too complicated” and “not worth the drama” for him.

I’m in a tough spot because I signed a contract, but it feels like a massive breach of his duty to me. He’s prioritizing his personal feelings over my best interest, preventing me from seeing what could be my future home.

What are my options here? Can I legally break our contract? Should I try to find a different agent? But then…. How do I handle this without ruining our friendship? Any advice on how to navigate this would be a huge.

Edit: this is in Illinois.

UPDATE #1: Thanks everyone for all your comments. I slept on it (and woke up to all your advice, which reiterated what I was thinking), and I sent out an email to him first, telling him that I am ending the contract effective immediately since he isn’t willing to put his personal effects aside in order to fulfill his duties as my agent. I kept what I thought was a friendship out of it; I am hoping that if he is a friend like he says, he will respect my decision and not let it affect it. But if it does, maybe I will get my dream home and get rid of a false friend. Win-win?

I reached out to a new agent, hoping to hear soon and be able to do a walkthrough; I’m hoping this is it. Wish me luck.

UPDATE 2: The house I think is perfect for me (🤞🏻) has an open house tomorrow. I have not signed with a new agent yet. I will go see it, and I am sure the AH will be there; it’s not an issue for me.

My now ex-friend returned to my work message, being condescending and saying I will regret it. Didn’t even bother replying to the “friend email” I sent. So that is done, and I admit I am relieved; I was trying to see a friendship where there really wasn’t one.

Just hope tomorrow goes as I hope. 🙌🏼

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: Tell him to take his pick

A) Get over it and show you the house

B) Release you from the buyer’s agreement

C) Sit down with his broker and discuss him and his brokerage firm being in material breach of contract by not fulfilling his contractual obligations

OOP: Thanks. I asked to be released and he got upset. Said I was putting our friendship (which I value a lot) before his integrity. But I always told him the ex was an AH. Why am I now being punished for his not wanting to deal with him? I feel like I am in a lose-lose situation.

Commenter 2:

Said I was putting our friendship (which I value a lot) before his integrity.

He’s putting his petty ex drama before your friendship. This guy cares more about his feelings than providing the professional service he agreed to provide to you. Fire him as your agent and your friend, if he wants to get petty then report him too.

OOP: This. The Ex is an absolute AH. I never liked him. And I am not excited about him making money out of this if I do end up getting this house. But I am putting that aside because this place is so promising. And while I get that my “friend” was hurt badly and doesn’t want to deal with him, he also needs to put it aside.

Commenter 3: Yes. Just get some other agent to show it to you.

This can’t be a real post unless you are his new lover.

OOP: I am not in a relationship with him. We’ve known each other for a long time. I never thought he would put his relationship with his ex in the middle of this. I thought our friendship was stronger than that. Now I see it isn’t.

OOP on the friend, his ex, and the commission

OOP: I think he doesn’t want the ex to get the commission, which I don’t either. The guy is an asshole, but I’m not letting that get in the way of my dream home (which I hope is as great as it looks ok the listing). I already told my friend I am moving to another agent, but I haven’t heard back yet.

Thanks so much for advice.

Commenter 4: His broker should be able to transfer you to another agent in the same office. Your friend will get a referral, his broker will keep his commission. Everyone will be happy. Why he didn’t suggest this up front is bizarre.

OOP: He owns his Real Estate Business. I just had to send a cancellation, and I will work with someone else. I hope he can understand and that we can maintain our friendship. But if he doesn’t, then I guess we weren’t that great of friends.

Update: August 25, 2025 (five days later from the original post)

UPDATE: real estate agent (and friend) won’t let me see my dream home

Some will read this and say my story is BS (I probably would). I’m still in disbelief about what’s going on, but here is the update to my original post about my ex-friend and real estate agent. For those who didn’t see it, I put the link above. In a nutshell, my real estate agent told me I couldn’t see my dream house because he had a personal issue with the listing agent.

After I told my ex-friend (EF) that I was ending our contract (he got snarky and told me I would regret it), I went to see my dream house at the open house yesterday. I was nervous because the pictures were amazing and the house was exactly what I wanted.

When I got there, the house was everything I dreamed of and more. It’s my style, the perfect size, and I loved it. I also ran into the “EX”. While I didn’t care for him when they were together, I kept things civil. He never did anything to me.

But then he said something that I was definitely not expecting. He asked me why EF wasn’t representing me. When I told him we parted ways, he asked, “Oh, because of his sister and her offer?” I was confused and asked what he meant.

He told me that EF asked him for a private viewing with his sister when the house was listed. His sister and her husband loved the house and put in an offer, but it was way below the asking price. When EX told EF the offer wouldn’t work, he tried to argue that the house would never sell for the asking price.

I wanted to run, find EF, and punch him in the face! He knows this house is well within my budget and that I have a pre-approved loan! As some of you remember, his excuse was that he wouldn’t show me the house because he didn’t want to deal with EX, but now I know that all along he was trying to get his sister a house she couldn’t even afford.

After the open house, I had a long chat with EX, and what he shared from his point of view about their breakup and other things made so much sense. Now it’s clear that EF was a master at manipulating stories to make himself sound like the victim. I can’t believe I was friends with him for so long and fell for all of his lies…

I am looking for legal advice already (I have a couple of lawyers lined up, none of whom are friends). EX said he is willing to share whatever he can legally disclose to help me if I decide to sue. I’m not looking for anything from EF, I just don’t want anyone else to fall for his lies and deceiving practices.

As for the house, it’s perfect. I’m going to work with EX’s office and use one of their brokers to put in an offer. EX said there is a way to skip the commission my agent would get (I really don’t understand how all these things work, which is probably why I am where I am now).

Thank you to everyone who read my drama. I’ve definitely learned a few things: no business with friends, don’t hire someone I can’t fire, and don’t be so naive.

Here’s to incoming pictures of my closing day with a pepperoni pizza. 🍕.

—— Edit: When I said below that I am seeking legal advice, I meant for me to report EF. I want to make sure everything is lined up and done properly, especially if he tried to fight back somehow. The lawsuit part was what EX told me; he somehow thought I could. But I don’t want anything, even if I had grounds for a lawsuit. I just don’t want him to do to others what he did to me. ——-

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: An unethical agent, who would have thought! /s I don’t know if a lawsuit is really warranted but a complaint to your states licensing agency would be warranted.

OOP: Thanks. I requested two lawyers to see if I have any grounds for a lawsuit; I am waiting to hear back. While EX said he would be willing to share whatever he “legally” could, I know it wouldn’t be much, and at the end …

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