This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IllustriousEbb9994 on 2023-09-06 14:43:21.

I just got a job offer in a different state. My husband works in a fly in fly out camp so it will not affect his work. However my new job adds nearly $30,000 a year more to our budget.

My in-laws live in a different state already and make an effort to see our kids. However we currently live eight blocks from my parents. And they are losing it.

They are saying that I’m a horrible son for moving their grandchildren away from them. That they have grandparents rights and all that.

I told them that I would be willing to change my family’s plans so long as they made up the difference between what I currently earn and my new job.

I was even willing to go net. I wasn’t asking them for my gross earnings. Just the after tax difference.

They said it was ridiculous to expect them to pay to see their grandchildren. I asked them if they thought that my in-laws didn’t pay for their flights and stuff when they visited? They said that is different. I don’t think it is. Just because my parents can walk to my house they think that seeing the kids isn’t an effort for everyone else.

My siblings have been calling me to say I’m an asshole for demanding money from our parents to see the children. I offered to let them pay me the money I will be losing if I don’t take the new job. Then they figured out my parents didn’t tell them the entire story. Now there is a big family fight because one of them has a job that may require he to move. And my brother will likely move after he completes his post grad.

I don’t actually want my parent’s money. I just want them to understand the money they are asking me to give up.