This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jntgrc on 2023-09-06 18:46:26.

This happened years ago but I’ve always wondered if I was int he wrong here since it’s now affected my own children and I and my husband have made certain life choices because of this.

My biological father came to my wedding (this happened years ago) and got offended I danced with my step-dad during the combined father-daughter/mother-son dance. He also got offended my grandmother was the one to walk me down the aisle and “give me” away. He claims I did this to embarrass him in front of everyone and has since refused to speak to me and claims my children are not his grandchildren.

He and my mother ended things after an affair and getting this woman pregnant when I was 3. He saw me on and off until I was almost 5. It was much less after that and the last time I saw him I was 7 and the last time I spoke to him I was 8. He married this new woman and she hated me and hated that I existed and existed before her and her children. She hates my family (his parents and siblings) because they chose me and to continue a relationship with me over her wishes. She got a lawyer in hopes that he wouldn’t have to give my mother child support and was pissed when she found out he had to add me to his health insurance.

He came into my life shortly before I became engaged and was married. We saw each other for the first time at a cousins wedding, but days before his wife called me and not so nicely demanded I not go to my cousins wedding because they were going. His oldest son found out and told her and him off and he demanded that he wanted to know his sister and so they were at the wedding and I met my siblings for the first time, the younger 3 didn’t even know I existed, just the oldest did. We saw each other sometimes, after that, he and I never forming it full on relationship since this lady hated me so much. I asked nothing from him, and demanded nothing. When I invited him and his family to my and my husbands wedding I got no answer. I called and asked if they were coming and he never could say yes or no. I went on and planned the wedding without his response and I expected him not to come since he never came to any other of my life events, never called at birthdays either or sent cards or letters. He called me hours before the wedding, as I’m having my hair done, to say that yes, in fact they are coming and are on the road. I was surprised but happy.

But what happened at the wedding stopped any relationship we were building up to. My step-dad has been my dad since I was 4. That man has done all the things a father is supposed to do and loved me like his own, he wasn’t perfect, but no one is. SO when I planned on who I would dance with my decision came naturally. Some have asked “Well why didn’t you dance half him and half your real dad?” and I just reply that I didn’t even know the man would be there until the afternoon of! I don’t think I did anything wrong or offended him, my father does AITA?