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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/emokool on 2025-09-21 18:50:26+00:00.

I realized I was trans in 2013 when I was 10, and came out at 12. For years, I thought I was passing pretty well even pre t no one misgendered me, my voice sounded like a 13 year old boy (not super feminine), and I even have a naturally thick mustache which i’m happy for but But recently, around age 20, I came across stuff about trenders especially how they’re often described as alt or visibly trans and now when I look in the mirror, I can’t unsee it. I feel like I look “girly,” i used to not understand how trans people just talked about trans stuff with me without me bringing it up because i thought i passed so good i didn’t even used to think about how other people saw me because i genuinely thought i passed so good but i see all the girly stuff more now

It’s gotten to the point where I pick apart everything I do. I keep thinking, “Was that too feminine?” even for small things i feel stuck in my body idk what to do i can’t do anything

what if i never passed as well as i actually thought

im scared i look like a trender because i can’t unsee it now i feel overly aware of my skeletal structure

i see a flash of myself in third person and i look small like a girl idk it feels like when i get trauma flashbacks its weird

sorry for the long rant I don’t really have any trans friends to talk to about this, so I’ve just been stuck in my head with it