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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/kentuckemily on 2023-09-06 20:45:25.

TRIGGER WARNING: mention of assault

TL;DR: I was assaulted in my sleep by the guy I have been seeing. He states he was asleep during the majority of the incident and woke up right as he was finishing inside me. He said he doesn’t remember how he got there and felt like it was a dream.

I met this guy I had been seeing online and it was basically it for me. From the moment we started talking, I felt so comfortable with him and we had all of the important things in common: life values, work goals, music interests, travel goals. We first met in is home city for a weekend and it was perfect. He planned the whole thing, met me with flowers the first time we saw each other, paid for nearly everything even though I insisted we go Dutch, and was just a genuine person. He came to see me over the holiday weekend this past weekend as an early birthday celebration and the whole weekend up until the last night was again, perfect. We went to bed around 330 am and I was awoken out of a dead sleep to him putting his hand down my underwear. I was so in shock after I asked him what he was doing and he didn’t respond. He flipped me over and basically finished in record time. Usually it takes a while for him and it just seemed like he was possessed or something. I panicked the whole rest of the night, and the next day because I was assaulted in a VERY similar fashion in college and it was a traumatic experience.

The next morning he kept asking if I was okay, and if I was in pain. On the car ride to the airport I explained to him what he did, what it felt like to me, and he began to cry and kept saying over and over again that he doesn’t really remember what happened and said it felt like it was a dream. I ended things with him yesterday because I just couldn’t stop crying. I felt like I couldn’t trust anything he said anymore, and I was scared. I had a hair appointment and an early birthday dinner with family and couldn’t make it through either without having to excuse myself to go cry because I couldn’t keep it together. When I called to end it, he hysterically cried and kept saying how he doesn’t remember and asked if I would reconsider. Today he asked if we could do a joint therapy session just to see if it would help both of us personally. I haven’t cried that hard in my life. I don’t think I’ve ever grieved a man like that even though I have been through absolute hell in my dating career (which has been an abusive one). I trusted him physically, emotionally, and with some deeply personal information.

Now I feel conflicted on if I made the right decision to end it. Did I? Has something like this happened to anyone and you made it out together on the other side? Do men or women actually do this in their sleep?