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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Vast-Virus-4404 on 2023-09-06 22:15:35.

Throwaway because I don’t know if my family is on Reddit.

I (28F) and my fiance (30M) are planning our wedding and originally wanted his niece (3) and my niece (5) to be co-flower girls. My niece is the only little girl in my family, so it’s pretty much expected by the whole family that she will be a flower girl in our wedding. For some background, many members of my family (myself included) think that she is on the autism spectrum, but my sister and BIL refuse to entertain any idea of that being a possibility. I absolutely adore my niece, but after seeing her as the flower girl in my brother’s wedding last week I do not want her in mine.

Examples include chucking the flower petals at the guests like she was pitching a major league baseball game, screeching through the entire ceremony, getting up onto the altar and doing a Fortnite dance while they were exchanging their vows, climbing onto the tables during dinner, going to the middle of the dance floor during the wedding party speeches and taking her dress off, and grabbing the microphone to announce that she had to poop.

She is an only child so my sister and BIL think this is completely normal for her age and that her antics are just THE CUTEST, so it’s not easy to ask them to supervise her more closely and to be honest, I don’t trust that they would if I asked. I love my niece, but she is out of control in formal settings.

I feel really selfish for thinking that she will ruin my wedding, but I was mad FOR the bride last week and can’t imagine how I would feel if it were me. I don’t want to upset anyone by not asking her or having to explain why I’m not asking her, and she will still be invited to the wedding so I’m sure there will be some antics, but after discussing it with my fiance we agree that we do NOT want her to be a part of the ceremony.

So, WIBTA for asking his niece to be our flower girl and excluding my own?