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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Ok_Grapefruit_1932 on 2023-09-07 01:54:19.

I’m not sure if my title even makes any sense, but I need advice/opinions and I can’t seem to post on any relationship subs.

Basically for the past 6 months I’ve been living with my (32F) partner (29M), and it’s been particularly hard and exhausting. We were together (semi LDR) about 1.5 years before thus. Is this what moving in together should be like? Hard at first and then find an easy middle ground? Or are you supposed to have a honeymoon stage and then maybe get to some hard bits?

Long story short, I moved a couple hours away from my home town, family and friends to move in together and both start new jobs. He’s earning less now but has better work hours and I earn a bit more but also get to work less. However that also means I’m covering the lion’s share of the bills, domestic work and emotional labor. So it’s more expensive and exhausting living with my partner than when I ever lived alone. I know I’m doing the same stuff, but it feels like a lot more when I’ve got to carry the weight of two people.

However maybe it’s not the feeling of weight on my end but just that there’s no conflict resolution available with my SO. He either cries, shuts down or starts a fight everytime I try to bring up how overwhelmed I am.

I’m starting to think maybe it’s me and I just require a lot from someone moving in with them. We talked about this before moving in together, but right now it just sucks and nothing seems to be like what we’ve talked about.

Anyway, what’s your experience with cohabitation? Does it suck before it gets better? Is this a red flag? What would you do?

TL;DR, cohabitation is not going how I expected it to. How do I solve this?