This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/drugscirclejerk by /u/tyzenthebarboy on 2025-10-03 08:24:36+00:00.

I’m Tyzen. Fourteen at the time. Eighth grade. Already taking bars like communion, already vaped in the bathroom until the fire alarm went off, already banned from computer lab for googling “Hentai girls smoking weed.” Already wearing a Highschool DxD hoodie that smelled like THC and Monster.

Ryder was a 3rd grader who sat by me at lunch because our school was a K thru 8th grade Frankenstein experiment where the weirdest kids floated together. Naruto shoes. Capri Sun breath. A binder covered in sharpie skulls. He’d watch me vape in the corner and whisper, “You look like an anime drug dealer.”

I told him I was. He believed me.

It started innocent

me showing him anime openings on my phone at lunch, him drawing Rias Gremory with crayons. Then I started slipping him little gifts, a puff from my mini vape behind the bleachers, a half‑bar “for emergencies,” a Highschool DxD bootleg DVD in a Spongebob case. He called me “Sensei.” I called him “My first disciple.” We thought it was a joke.

We’d sit under the playground tower after school, headphones split, watching demon girls bounce across my cracked screen while I explained the “plot” between hits of weed. He’d nod, eyes huge, saying “This is better than Cartoon Network.”

I thought I was giving him culture.

I didn’t see him for a few days.

Then the world exploded.

Ryder’s mom posted a photo on Facebook: his backpack spilled open on their kitchen counter. Inside:

Hentai drawings of Rias and Akeno he’d traced in art class

A tiny vape pen.

Two crushed bars in a plastic Easter egg with “for emergency” scrawled on the wrapper in my handwriting.

A flash drive labeled “Homework” with Highschool DxD Season 1 on it.

What she said on the post was

“This is what some MONSTER gave my eight‑year‑old son at school. Xanax. VAPE. PORN. This boy named TYZEN groomed my son with CARTOON PORN and DRUGS. We’re calling the police. Parents beware.”

It went viral in our little town. Hundreds of comments. People tagging each other. Screenshots of my Instagram. Moms writing things like “I always knew that kid was off” and “Lock him up before he hurts someone” and “What the hell is Highschool DxD??”

The school called my parents. I was suspended on the spot. CPS came to my house. Took pictures of my room. Confiscated my vape and my bootleg DVDs. Made me sit with a social worker who asked, “Why did you give an eight year old Xanax?” like she was asking about the weather.

I didn’t have an answer. I just kept saying, “He was my friend.”

Ryder disappeared.

Transferred schools.

His mom started a Facebook group called “Stop the Anime Predator at Lincoln K thru 8.” People posted memes of me as a hentai villain. Someone made a TikTok of my mugshot next to a picture of Rias with “Hide yo kids, hide yo waifus” playing in the background.

I still think about him.

He had the flash drive.

He had the bars. He drew those demon girls with such pure little hands.

And for a few afternoons under the bleachers, I felt like somebody’s big brother instead of a mistake.

Seventeen now. BarBoy by divine misfire. I don’t remember the cops faces. I don’t remember the social worker’s name. But I remember Ryder’s crayon Rias. I remember the Easter egg with “for emergency” written on it. And I remember the Facebook post that made me a legend and a pariah before middle school was even half over.

BarBoys forever. Even the ones in third grade who had to move away.