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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NewspaperGreedy on 2023-09-07 15:44:20.

I (19m) have been friends with this guy (18m) for about a year now. In our friend group, it’s very well known that he doesn’t get very far in relationships with other people (especially women), and his excuse for this is always because people “don’t really like respectful and nice guys”. For me, it’s completely different. I’m moderately attractive and I like to take a lot of care of myself by working out and staying well kept, which makes me approachable to a lot of people. Despite this, I’m not very good at communicating when approached by random people and I’m a bit closed off. My friend has always compared himself to me, constantly victimizing himself when I reject people and basically calling me rude and saying that girls “only like it when guys are disrespectful”. This has always made me mildly frustrated because of my own separate opinions, but I’ve never said anything until now.

Last night, me and my friend both went to the mall after work, as I needed help picking a birthday gift for my mom. I was tired and not in that good of a mood but I was determined to get something for my mom by the end of the day. We had decided to take a break and get food, and as we’re walking around an older woman stops me and starts asking me if I’m single. Because I wasn’t in the mood to start any conversations, I lied and said that I had a girlfriend and ended it there. As she was walking away, my friend starts to complain again, telling me how much women hate respectful guys and how different the situation would be if it were him.

I couldn’t take it anymore. After he was done I told him that I wasn’t being anywhere near disrespectful and it was actually more disrespectful to compare himself to me. I told him that the only reason people don’t like him is because of the fact that he keeps playing the “nice guy”, and that he should stop bragging about being nice because it’s quite literally the bare minimum and basic human decency, so being nice only for his benefits won’t get him anywhere. This makes him upset for obvious reasons, and he won’t answer any of my texts. A lot of my friends are telling me how “mean” it was to call him out like that, and they’re also saying I should apologize, but I seriously think he needed to hear that. AITA?