**I am NOT the Original Poster. That is:** u/CuriousVixieHotwife. **Posted in:** r/drums **.** **Do NOT comment on Original...
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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/BaronVonDrunkenverb on 2025-10-08 18:15:10+00:00.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is: u/CuriousVixieHotwife. Posted in: r/drums .

Do NOT comment on Original Posts.

Original Post: December 23, 2024

Title: Got my new BF a ride cymbal and I don’t know if I messed up

My boyfriend is in an indie rock band, and plays drums. I know he has played a variety of genres and has an affinity for Zildjian. He made a comment on how he needed a ride cymbal but they are expensive so I made a mental note. Not knowing much I did some basic research and got him an “excellent quality"used Zildjian A series 22” medium ride cymbal from guitar center. When I casually talked to him about it - not telling him I had bought one, he said that he would have to hear the sound to know if it was right and that you can’t just buy someone something like this as he doesn’t want a Frankenstein set. Did I do something wrong? Am I just being paranoid? What’s the likelihood he’s gonna hate this gift? I spent over $250 on it so I would appreciate if he didn’t hate it but I’m starting to really wonder if I fucked this up as it’s our first Christmas together.

Top Comment:

PFUC-Gman: If he is a decent person he will shower you in praise and thanks for getting him such a present. He will then try it and if it doesn’t fit the sound, he will try to return it or just sell it while explaining to you nicely, why cymbals are very unique and musicians like to hear them first, while not making you feel bad for trying to make him happy.

If he doesn’t do any of the above: dump his ass

Commenter: And take the ride with you

Commenter: …and become a jazz a drummer

Commenter: Why are we giving her advice to ruin her life now?

Commenter: You hate jazz? You fear jazz! You fear the lack of rules. Skiddly bop ba-wow!

OOP: Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate your perspective, and I’ll definitely let him know he can exchange or return it if it doesn’t fit his style. I want this to be something he genuinely loves and can use, so I’ll make sure he feels no pressure to keep it if it’s not quite right. Your advice helps ease my nerves a bit—thank you again!

Commenter: LPT in future, buying gifts for someone who knows about a profession or hobby is difficult unless they explicitly tell you what they want.

People who don’t know the hobby, tend to massively underestimate what proper kit costs and end up buying something which feels expensive but actually isn’t good quality.

And as other people point out, even if you do buy a good piece of kit, people still will have preferences about brands, sizing, etc.

This doesn’t just apply to drumming, it applies to everything.

It is the thought that counts of course, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that you want to support his drumming.

An idea in future would be to bring him on a surprise trip to his favourite music shop, and once you’re there tell him to pick out what he wants and you’ll buy it for him.

There follows a lot of drummer jokes and comments approving of the purchase.

Update Post: December 27, 2024

Here is the Original Post.

Hi everyone! I wanted to share an update for those who were curious about how my boyfriend reacted to the “excellent quality” used Zildjian A Series 22" Medium Ride Cymbal I got from Guitar Center. Spoiler: It went better than I could have hoped!

When he opened the gift, he literally sat there with his mouth open for a solid minute, completely speechless. Then he gave me the biggest hug and told me it was one of the best gifts he’s ever received. He even said, “My ride stand has been looking so lonely, folded up across the room,” which absolutely melted my heart. He kept asking, “What did I do to deserve this?” and I could tell he was genuinely touched and grateful.

Funny enough, he almost guessed what it was before opening it. I casually mentioned the gift might just be a large gift card because “the place I got it from has a great return policy.” That little breadcrumb, combined with the fact that there’s a Guitar Center near my place and he had recently mentioned needing a ride, tipped him off. But even so, he was still completely blown away when he saw it in person.

We opened the gift at my place, so he hasn’t had a chance to test how it sounds with his kit yet, but he’s really excited and hopeful it’ll fit perfectly. His bandmates were so pumped when he told them that they tried to drag him to practice late last night just to check it out—hilarious and totally on brand for them!

Oh, and here’s the best part: I showed him this Reddit thread, and he’s been reading through your comments, smiling and laughing. He even joked about how relieved he was that he didn’t react like an asshole. Safe to say, he’s over the moon about the gift, and I’m so happy it brought him so much joy.

I’ll post a follow-up with a pic of his kit and the ride all set up once he gets home and has it ready to go. Thank you all for your kind words and advice—it really helped me feel more confident about this gift.

Picture of the set-up kit with cymbal

Top Comment:

keerin: I love when someome in a Redditor’s life is a normal person and not a psychopath.

Commenter: Average redditor post:  I bought my boyfriend a 250 dollar gift and he said he hated it and kicked my cat then set me on fire AITA?

Commenter: Looking at the OP’s profile I wouldn’t call them normal…

Commenter: holy shit. this is a married woman who bought her bf this ride cymbal. this changes eveything

Commenter: I mean I only bothered looking because about a month ago, a guy made a really interesting post about cymbals on here, he was saying some great stuff, I looked at his username and it seemed a bit weird (pornographic), clicked on his profile and it was full of weird shit on porn subreddits about him sharing his wife out to other dudes.

I would’ve assumed these people would have different accounts for the different subreddits they frequent, if that makes sense

Commenter: so the real question that somehow no one has asked yet. What present did you buy your husband?

OOP: Good catch. I love that you asked. Hahaha. I got him components for his white gaming PC build he is working on - a power supply, 2TB of NVMe storage, fancy white fans and then some Versace cologne. I will probably splurge on his processor or graphics card for his birthday in February.

Commenter**:** well damn. my wife didnt get me anything for christmas. do you need a second bf?

Most comments congratulate OP on the purchase and the happy outcome

Final Update Post: February 3, 2025

Original Post - 1st update Post

I had heard from so many people cheering on this story—telling me I did great, rooting for the gift to be a success, prepping me for a return, and asking for an update after the initial gifting. I figured even though the last update was a fairytale to leave the story on, it isn’t the actual final update.

I’ve learned a tough lesson—don’t buy equipment for an established musician. There’s so much nuance that I never would have thought to consider, and even if I had spent more money, it wouldn’t have made a difference. The ride cymbal we ended up getting was actually cheaper than the one I originally bought, proving that price doesn’t always equal preference when it comes to sound.

Before I even mentioned the Reddit comment, he told me that technically, he could sell his K Custom crashes, retune his toms, and get new crashes that would work with the ride—but that it would be expensive and not something he could realistically justify. Later, when I told him about the comment suggesting he might love the cymbal so much that he’d build his whole kit around it, he chuckled at the idea. He admitted that if money weren’t an issue, he’d do it, because it means so much that I got him this ride. That moment made me appreciate even more why musicians are so particular about their gear—because every piece has to fit together just right.

With just a couple of days left in the 45-day return window, we took the Zildjian A Series 22” Medium Ride back. But it wasn’t an easy decision.

He tried—every single day—to make it work. He kept thinking maybe he was hitting it wrong, adjusting his technique, troubleshooting the issue like it was something he needed to fix. He wanted to love it. He knew it was a thoughtful, incredible gift, and he didn’t want to seem ungrateful. But every time he sat behind his kit, something felt off. No matter what he did, it didn’t sound right.

Finally, he approached me and admitted that it just wasn’t working. He wasn’t even thinking about returning it—he just needed to tell…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1o1i9oo/got_my_new_bf_a_ride_cymbal_and_i_dont_know_if_i/

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    Finally, he approached me and admitted that it just wasn’t working. He wasn’t even thinking about returning it—he just needed to tell me how frustrating it was. When I told him we could still take it back, I saw the relief on his face and honestly, I felt relief too. As much as I had wanted this to be the perfect gift, what mattered more was that he felt good about his instrument, his sound, and his craft.

    When we actually got to the store, I was near tears. I did everything I could for him not to notice. I had been bracing myself for this moment, telling myself over and over again that it wasn’t personal, but standing there returning something I had picked out so carefully felt like admitting failure. I held it together, but it stung—right up until the moment the return was processed. And then, suddenly, I felt nothing but relief. Because now, instead of holding onto something that didn’t fit, he had the chance to choose the right piece.

    What happened next ended up being one of the most unexpectedly bonding experiences we’ve had so far.

    I stood there watching as he carefully went through different ride cymbals, striking each one in different places—on the bow, the edge, the bell (terms I learned while at the store with him). He was listening, thinking, adjusting. I asked questions about what he was hearing, what made one cymbal “right” and another one “wrong,” and why certain tones felt off to him. He lit up as he explained the nuances of what he was listening to and how a cymbal blends with the rest of his kit.

    At one point, he tested a Zildjian K Custom ride, and I thought that would be the one—after all, his crash cymbals are K Customs, and I assumed it would match perfectly. But he played it, paused, and shook his head and explained to me why he didn’t prefer it. That moment was eye-opening for me because it made me realize just how intentional he is with his sound. It’s not just about brands matching or price tags—it’s about what feels right.

    Ultimately, he went with the i-Series 20” Ride, a cymbal that fit him—his style, his setup, his playing. It wasn’t the most expensive, but it was right.

    And here’s the kicker—we returned the ride on our three-month anniversary. Instead of it being a moment of disappointment, it turned into a memory. A moment of us learning together, growing together, and understanding each other in a way we hadn’t before.

    In the end, my original gift transformed into something unexpected—a 22” gift card made of metal (shoutout to abarrelofmankeys for phrasing it this way, this is probably the one comment that made my brain love the gift regardless of it it was right). And honestly? That’s exactly what he needed.

    So to everyone who told me not to take it personally—thank you. You were absolutely right. It was never about the cymbal. It was about the love, thoughtfulness, and connection behind it. And in that sense, it was the perfect gift after all.

    Most comments disparage bf for his cymbal choice

    Top Comment:

    rwalsh138: You’re an awesome girlfriend. You actually picked the perfect cymbal to give him, so it’s super confusing. It’s a ride cymbal that is so versatile, it can literally fit any genre. And I’m going to be the bad guy and address the elephant in the room here, he went with an i-series Zildjian ride? It’s a beginner cymbal. He made a giant mistake returning the ride you got him.

    OOP: It really came down to how the A Series resonated with his existing crash cymbals—it just didn’t blend the way he wanted. I was a little surprised by his pick too, but at the end of the day, it’s all about the sound he wants to hear when he’s playing. He also knew I would have pitched in for a more expensive ride, especially with his birthday coming up, so this wasn’t about cost—it was purely about what felt right in his kit for the music he’s making. Who knows, maybe once he hears everything together, he’ll decide this isn’t the one either, and we’ll be back to the drawing board. I have my own little nuances and preferences in life, so I figure I’ve got to let him have his too!

    Commenter: I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about. But that’s fine. Let him have the cheapy zbt style model. I’d say his ears juat [sic.] weren’t used to the new cymbal. The A series is a phenomenal cymbal. Great gf btw

    Commenter: I can understand that he went with what he liked. I don’t agree with it at all, but I’m not gonna ridicule someone for enjoying it. It’ll live rent free in my head for a long time, that’s for sure. At a gig I once offered to let a guy use my cymbals (Sabian Xplosions, HH Medium hats, Zildian [sic.] Mega Bell) as he showed up with WHD cymbals. He declined. His band also got fake blood spattered across my kit as they pretended to sacrificed [sic.] a goat. The festival that hosted this is now shut down

    Commenter: I was 100% tracking this situation and thinking I could understand how buying the “right” ride would be really tough to nail. But then I realized that he traded an A for an i and now I’m just angry. You are an amazing, thoughtful partner and now I think you should leave him for someone who values the K series.

    Commenter:

    I’ve learned a tough lesson—don’t buy equipment for an established musician.

    I feel like this is usually the default response in any musician group when partners post about gifting gear. I’m legit surprised it wasn’t the case this time.

    OOP: Yeah, I really thought I was a statistical anomaly and then just over a month after I gave it to him, he mentioned it not sounding right still and it kinda broke my little optimistic heart for a second, and then I realized that it is okay. Who knows, I may just continue to buy him the wrong equipment as a way of giving creative gift cards forever.

    Another Commenter: You‘re 3 months together and buy him a multiple-hundred $ present? Holy

    OOP: Technically, we were just under 2 months in when I gave him the gift initially.

    Commenter: That’s the part of this saga I find a bit unsettling tbh. One of OP’s posts also mentioned buying him parts for his gaming PC and planning to ‘splurge’ on a new graphics card in the future.

    I’ll be honest, this sounds weird and unhealthy to me. I’ve been in relationships 3 years where we spent far less on each other than this poster is doing after 2-3 months, it comes across as love bombing which is a big red flag.

    At 3 months into a relationship you should be getting cute little unexpected gifts - fun stuff - not major purchases. OP, instead of freaking out over which cymbal you should have gotten him, you really need to think about why you felt the need to buy such a major item for someone you only recently met. The fact you presumably have a husband too makes it even more puzzling.

    Downvoted Commenter: IMO he made a gigantic mistake, boh [sic.] in that that Zildjian is a way better cymbal and that he treated you that way. I would have never, EVER approached my wife in such a way about a gift she took the time to research and buy me. Your guy sounds like an ass.

    Commenter: lol, wut? He clearly sounds like a nice guy with a wonderful girlfriend that care about each other and everything came out roses in the end.

    You’re ridiculous.

    OOP: He has been very grateful since receiving the gift, he had no idea I was planning on giving him a ride when he went on his initial rant. I learned a ton about him and what he is looking for in his sound right now, and why, and that, ultimately, made me happier than if the A ride had been perfect in his eyes.

    Another Commenter: Damn dude, if you’re reading this, she’s a keeper.

    Commenter: And you chose the wrong ride cymbal.

    THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

    DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP’s OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7