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The original was posted on /r/covidlonghaulers by /u/jadedaslife on 2023-09-07 21:34:30.

Depression, anxiety, panic, sense of loss & needing to hide…I am on antidepressants and some other things, but the uselessness feeling continues, like I am worthless/irrelevant. Small wonder, as I am home the vast majority of the time, not working, feeling disconnected from others, like I am not a part of society, and like my problems are insurmountable. So many things that I had, so many things that I expected to have, all on hold at best because my brain is hijacked.

Brain is telling me I will never have what I want. I both try to do things to change my brain, and get rest to help myself. But the sense of being blocked from having a good life, or even feeling good things, does not go away.

Hopefully this month I will be starting ECT treatment for this depression. My psychiatrist says it should help the whole problem. I hope so. I feel dead. Doing most things does not provide joy, either. I am just flying a holding pattern every day no matter what I do.

Can anyone relate? When does the joy come back? How do you feel a sense of hope?