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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Notabadmom2 on 2023-09-07 17:52:53.

I (F40) divorced my ex husband five years ago when our daughter was 8 years old. We had many issues but major was the fact he was very entitled and sexist. I am her primary and he gets her EOWE.

In my home, I teach my daughter kindness is valued but servitude is not. She is sweet kid and rarely poses any problems.

She spend last weekend with her dad and on Monday he called me to say she has a horrible attitude and never listens to him. That I am the person who made her like this.

I told him to explain. He said she wouldn’t fetch him water, wouldn’t cook, wouldn’t clean up, stays in her room everyday “studying”. That he knows studying is code for playing on phone.

Funny thing is, she does all this here. She has never not fetched water for me. She cooks all the time, not cause I ask her to, but cause she loves to. She cleans up after herself and hangs out with me a lot of time. She does homework on the dining table and I sit across from her doing my work.

So I told him I will speak to her and learn about it. I asked her about this yesterday cause she was away on a overnight trip for past couple of days.

She said he demanded her to cook and clean and ordered her around. She didnt like the way he talked to her and that’s why she hid in her room.

I asked why she didn’t tell me and she replied she didn’t want to upset me.

Thing is I trust her. So I called her dad and talked to him about ordering her about and demanding stuff. He said since she is his daughter he has a right to. That I am turning her into a brat.

AITA?