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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Direct-Caterpillar77 on 2025-10-10 04:02:02+00:00.
I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwraappleopi
My (25m) wife (23f) is replacing my shirts for a different size?
Originally posted to r/relationship_advice
TRIGGER WARNING: Body image issues, eating disorder
Original Post - rareddit July 4, 2021
During the pandemic I started gaining weight. I have always had body issues but it got to a new high when I was trying on a shirt that was even a bit to big 6 months ago. Now it won’t button up.
I started exercising and cutting back on food. My wife became concerned for my mental health. She encouraged me to eat clean but not restrict and started even dieting with me.
2 weeks ago we were invited to our friends anviersary and seing that my wife fit ina dress she hadn’t gut in one year made me spiral. We endet up going for like an hour and then leaving.
Since then I began noticing how some of my button ups started fitting better and better and I was gaining more confidence.
Yesterday my wife left for the weekend to ckeck in on her aunt. I was looking for some papers that she usually keeps in her boy under the bed, when I noticed a shopping bag under the bed.
It was all my shirts that I thought started fitting. She had bought new ones, cut off the étiquetés and exchanged the older for the newer ones.
I don’t even know how to feel.
What was her goal? Why did she do that. How do I start a conversation with her?
Tldr: I gained weight and gut very insecure. Wife is replacing the smaller shorts for a bigger size. Not sure how to handle this
Edit : I never threw a fit. I was feeling bad and my wife was supportive and said we just had to say hi and leave. She was never mad.
Also I am not mad because of the shirts. I am/was highly confused
TOP COMMENTS
d4n4scu11yxx
I think your wife’s goal was for you to have clothes that fit without risking you spiraling about your weight. I don’t know whether this was a great way to go about that, but idk, having well-fitting clothes is important regardless of your weight. It makes you feel better about yourself. I gained weight during covid and was a lot more confident once I got new clothes that fit me than when I was trying to squeeze into my old clothes.
~
veggiebuilder
Her goal is super clear, you explain it in your post you were feeling shit about yourself and lack of progress.
So she tried to make you feel better by making you feel it was starting to work. Whether you think it was okay for her to do this or the right thing to do, that was why she did it.
Just communicate with her, tell her you found out she was doing this, ask her why, let her explain and then go from there.
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Son_Deity
Dude your wife is awesome she is still trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle to where you feel comfortable, and keeping you from spiraling, If I were you, give her a big hung and thanks and tell her you will work harder till you see yourself how you want to. Mental game my guy.
Update July 20, 2021 (16 days later)
Hey so I’m back. I’m writing this with my wife.
So for one we talked. Everything is fine. She was trying to make me feel better but said she should have told me. We have decided that I should go back to therapy so we can work on my body issues because it turns out this is worse than we thought. Apparently I have body dismorphia and a binge eating dissorder. All in all its hard but I am doing better. She had been so supportive and I love her.
However we want to say something to commenters calling me an absuive asshole for “making my wife leave a party early because of a temper tantrum” I was having a Panik attack I was feeling really bad. And my wife would rather calm me than stay at a party. She wanted us to leave. I felt really bad about it. But when you are in a committed relationship it is normal to make sacrifices to help each other. I know that it was “my fault” but I didn’t do it to maipluate her. Idk what those comments are about.
So that’s all for now. I am wearing shirts that fit me. It has helped me. We started running in the park together and feel physically better.
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