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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sgt-Insane on 2023-09-07 22:33:25.

This is driving me crazy and I have to ask. I’m apart of a few small gaming discord servers. In one, I’m very well acquainted with several users and like voice chatting and playing games with them. One user however, “Chloe”, an MTF transwoman, is someone who has no filter and will say the most random, or the most vile things to others. Her sense of humor is almost entirely built on degrading and insulting people out of the blue over little to no reasons whatsoever. She would insult pretty much anyone, but she particularly liked targeting a cis girl, “Emma”. Emma is a quiet girl who is introverted, but liked chatting with us. Whenever Emma joined a group chat, Chloe would say things like, “Oh hey LOSER” and laugh. Emma usually ignored her, but this time was different. A few days ago, Emma came into voice call after being absent. Chloe immediately started with her sarcasm but Emma ignored her. A friend asked Emma where has she been. She told us that her grandmother to had passed away due to a long battle with lung cancer. None of us knew about this. I felt so bad for her and told her I’m sorry, but then Chloe interrupts and says: “Well, she shouldn’t have smoked so much then.” Emma then said “Excuse me?” Chloe explained that Emma’s grandmother was “Clearly addicted to smoking” and that the lung cancer was “entirely her own doing.” Emma starts crying and says “How can you say that?” Chloe says “What? I’m just stating the obvious. It’s her own fault this happened.” Emma screamed to Chloe that she is a POS and that she has always hated her, and then left the chat. After that, Chloe then said “Wow… always hated me?” And laughed like it was a joke. I piped up and told her that this isn’t funny and she needs to apologize. She says “Why, she says she has always hated me.” And then claims that the reason why Emma has always hated her is because she is a transwoman. I then told Chloe: “She doesnt hate you because you’re trans. She hates you because you’re awful.” Chloe shouts at me and say I was transphobic because I was using “dogwhistles”. She called me more names before leaving the group chat. It was just me and a few others left, and I asked them how I’m the bad guy after she treated someone like crap. Surprisingly I was dogpiled by them. They said what I said is indeed transphobic and that using “Dogwhistles” is not the way to win my battles. I yell back at them I have no freaking idea what “dogwhistles” they are talking about and that Chloe IS a mean POS, and that I felt ashamed that I waited till now to actually say something. But all fell on deaf ears and everyone left the call. How was I in the wrong for telling a rude person that they were rude? Why aren’t the others telling Chloe that she is a problem? Am I just crazy? AITA?