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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fuzzy_Plenty_2899 on 2023-09-07 21:27:01.

I (38f) am married to Nathan (42m) and we have three children together and my stepson from my husband’s first marriages ages 16m, 8f, 7m and 5m. My stepson was with us 50/50 until he was 14 when the courts left him to decide if and when he comes to our house. His mom has engaged in parental alienation for many years so it was no surprise to us that he chose to stay mostly with his mom. Sometimes he will want time with his dad and will come for a weekend or even a few hours.

Last Friday he texted my husband to say he wanted to come after school and would need a ride after school. My parents were picking up the other kids from school and taking them to McDonald’s so they said they would pick him up as well. While there he refused to order anything and was ignored them while they were there. My parents offered to pick something else up for him but he pulled a face and so they left it alone.

My ILs stopped by when everyone got back and they were catching up with my stepson. At some point he said he was hungry and they asked if he hadn’t eaten with the other kids at McDonald’s. He said no and left the house to eat out alone.

My ILs went off immediately. Told me my parents were evil and that I clearly didn’t care about my stepson either. They said my parents should never show that kind of favoritism. FIL went even harder than MIL saying my parents were disgusting and did not deserve any grandkids. He said they were basically making my stepson feel unwanted and unloved and how cruel that makes them. Then he accused them of denying him food.

I told them they had some nerve to speak about my parents that way. I said they have been incredibly loving to my stepson. They spoiled him like crazy for his birthday and Christmas every year for several years and they never got so much as a thanks. I said they cannot make him eat. And should not be forced to spend money on something that will be thrown in the trash which has happened before. I also told them if they want to see some change, they could always talk to their grandson and see how far it gets them. I reminded them of the time he said his mom hated their guts and that they weren’t even really his grandparents since only his mom’s family counted and their response was to act like he said nothing and they focused on something else. Pointed out another time he refused to eat their dinner because “it tastes like shit and I don’t want to be here” and they didn’t rush to get him another plate or make him eat. I told them they should not expect my parents to do more than they would. I then told them to leave.

My husband came home and I told him what happened and he agreed we need some space from his parents. They had blown up his phone with texts while he was at work. They say I had twisted things and was rude to them. They said not to mention the younger kids were in the home.

I’m wondering if I went too far. AITA?