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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/name-nerd on 2023-09-08 00:15:43.

My sister has been talking to me over the past few months about not being ready to have a baby because her husband is still in school (2.5 years left), they’re newly married last year, she only works 1 day/week, and they can’t afford a house yet or for her to stay at home and take care of the baby which is what she wants. She’s told me her timeline is that they’ll start trying 1.5-2 years out. I’ve never tried to influence her either way, but always supported her and helped her work through her thoughts.

Meanwhile, my husband and I have been married 6 years and decided to start trying for kids last year. We didn’t tell anyone simply because we wanted to keep it between us until we were pregnant.

I’m pregnant now, and told my sister a little over two weeks ago when I hit 12 weeks. Her response was a brief moment of excitement for me, then immediately afterwards she spent an hour asking me if she should try to get pregnant, too, and going through logistics of if/how they could make it work financially.

It was disappointing to not feel like she was truly excited for me, but instead for her to make the conversation about herself. For some reason, she became really fixated on the idea of wanting to be pregnant at the same time as me. Frankly, I’m indifferent about being pregnant at the same time as her and after her two weddings last year, I thought it would be nice to have a special time for our families to be excited for my husband and I.

Fast forward to now, and she tells me that she thinks she might be pregnant. The timing happens to be that she would have tried a few days after I told her. All other factors in her life are the same, so it really seems like the only reason she tried is because I’m pregnant.

So, am I the asshole for being annoyed with her for suddenly trying to get pregnant just because I am?

Edit to add: My BIL and SIL just announced that they’re pregnant with their first and stoked for them! They were equally excited for us. It just feels disappointing and confusing that my sister wasn’t that excited for me, and then immediately tried for her own baby so that she can be pregnant at the same time.