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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/HayleywithouttheH on 2023-09-08 00:41:19.

I just want to get this all out because I’m so angry with myself for being so dumb. We just got back from holiday and I’ve realised how messy my boyfriend is. I always knew this but I blamed it on his mum who is a hoarder. I thought it would get better once we moved out but clearly I was wrong.

We were checking out of the hotel this morning and I was running late. He was ready, and was just milling around the room, opening all of the host’s drawers and cupboards (we hadn’t used them, he was just being nosy), and ambling around. I had to instruct him to gather our towels for the cleaner. He did it, but I resent that I had to tell him to do so: the host asked us to gather the towels and he knew this. I also realised that I was running late because I’d spent time tidying (for the benefit of both of us) while he just got dressed and packed (benefitting himself).

When we got home, I realised that I’d also been the one to tidy the house before we left to go on holiday. He’d left trash by his desk, left dishes in the kitchen, and left clothes all over the floor. He always leaves clothes on the floor, even though I literally bought him 50 coat hangers and moved a chair into the bedroom for him to fling clothes on.

I’m also sick of being solely responsible for the location of every single item in this house. We only moved 3 weeks ago: the house is almost empty. It’s also a very small house, so it’s not like there’s a million hiding places for things. I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s asked me to find things for him, or has accused me of moving his stuff when I haven’t, or has been unable to find objects that are literally under his nose.

But the real dealbreaker was the dishes. We ordered in food tonight because we were tired from travelling. He went to bed early and left me with the dirty dishes because he’s tired, but I’m tired too and it’s just not feeling fair at all. They’re sat in front of me now. I can’t leave them until the morning because theyre caked with sauce. I also know that he wouldn’t wash them before he goes to work tomorrow anyway. I work from home, so I guess he’s expecting me to do that.

At this stage, he is genuinely adding so much more effort to my life and I feel so dumb that it’s being caused by something so small as dirty dishes. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to realise that he just treats me like a maid. I don’t need relationship advice - I already know I’m leaving him. I just wanted to get this out here so I can feel like I’m not losing my mind.