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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Remarkable-Reveal786 on 2023-09-08 17:25:44.

This is a throwaway account, and I would appreciate some judgement on whether I’m being an asshole because I currently don’t think I am, but I’m open to hearing judgement.

I (31F) have an older sister (36F) who is married to her husband (41M), and they have a one-year-old son together. I work for a company that works in the US and the UK. Due to the nature of my specific role in the company, I must travel between the US and the UK for the company; this means I often spend half of the year in the US and half the year in the UK. I get six weeks of annual leave a year, so I took three weeks in the US to catch up with friends and three weeks in the UK to spend in the UK and catch up with my friends and family where we are initially from.

Because of my time in the US, I decided to buy a three-bedroom apartment in the heart of NYC, where the company is also found in the US; the British company is based in central London. My BIL is an only child, but he has mentioned he’s got family, such as cousins, aunts and uncles in the US, and he would love to go and visit them one day. Before my sister had their child, my sister mentioned that she would love to go to NYC to see her husband’s side of the family with him. Now that they’ve had their child, they feel that it’s time to go and visit their family. It’s worth mentioning, but my BIL family are entirely British and immigrated to the US.

My BIL earns a decent salary in the UK but primarily goes on the mortgage, their kid, and their household. My sister works part-time, but most of her income goes to her bills and their son. They have enough money to make it last for the month as a just-in-case they need to buy stuff. My BIL and sister are only open to family members about their finances whereas I’m more private and they don’t know how much I earn and I like to keep it that way.

A few days ago my sister video-called me to catch up and she was talking about how she and her husband feels now is the perfect time to go to America. She told me they’ve saved the money for the plane tickets there and back, they’ve got spending money but that can’t afford accommodation yet. My sister knows I have an apartment in NYC because of my job and she asked if they could stay in my apartment. I know it’s not an answer but I have that gut feeling that something about this trip isn’t right so I made the choice to say no.

My sister understands that I said no and she accepts it but she’s a little upset. I spoke to my best friend about this and she was honest in saying she thinks I’m being an asshole because I won’t let them stay in my apartment which I’m not currently occupying. She told me to come here and get some judgement from an outside perspective to see if I’m an asshole.

I do feel like I’m being an asshole because I have said no to my sister. BIL and nephew staying at my apartment which would half their expenses for a two week vacation over a gut feeling. So, AITA?