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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Witty_Paramedic8439 on 2023-09-08 20:42:54.

I (28f) am getting married to my wonderful fiance Casey (29m). We both actually chose to ask a grandparent to be our best man and maid of honor. Casey wanted his grandpa who basically took care of him when his family was going through a horrific tragedy and he wouldn’t have survived without his grandpa. He is very much the man he sees as his true parent. Whereas for me, I want my grandma to be my maid of honor. When I lost my mom she was the only connection I had to her and she was very much the love and light in my life for a long while. She is the one person I could talk to about missing mom.

My half sister (20f) is another bridesmaid, along with my best friend.

My half sister is not related to my grandma, she’s my dad’s kid, not my mom’s. The two of them have no relationship outside of seeing each other a handful of times prior to being in my wedding party. I’m not very close with my half sister. But I recognize that she always wanted to be closer and I knew she would want to be a bridesmaid, which she did.

I did not realize she would hate that my grandma is my maid of honor. But for the last several weeks she has been rude to my grandma. She has dropped some comments that having a cold hearted maid of honor must be tough. She suggested grandma get some work done so she doesn’t look like an old hag in the wedding photos. I told her to cut it out repeatedly. I spoke to her after the second incident and told her she did not get to be rude to grandma and if she wasn’t careful she would be out of the wedding party.

The comments have continued and grandma admitted my half sister has been saying stuff behind my back. So I confronted her and told her she has two choices… she can either knock it off, apologize and keep her comments to herself OR she can step down as bridesmaid because my grandma is not going anywhere.

She told me I shouldn’t be making her do this. She said she should have been maid of honor for starters and she should not be expected to be fine with a woman who did not want to embrace her as part of her family when she did nothing wrong. She said it kills her to see me so close to grandma when grandma chose not to be part of her life. She said regardless of which of my parents grandma’s related to me by, she’s my half sister and grandma should have embraced having another grandchild. She said my ultimatum is unfair and cruel to her when I’m aware of the past and when I know she isn’t comfortable around my grandma.

I actually had no idea she felt that way about grandma. But knowing that doesn’t change that for me. Maybe that makes me TA. AITA?