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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/momtodaughters on 2023-09-08 22:23:33.

Long story short, over the past 13 years my mom has either consciously or unconsciously made decisions in her life that have created obstacles to seeing her grand kids. Examples, moving to a different country and only giving me a week notice and again moving to a state on the other side of the country when a neighboring state was on her short list of places to move to.

I can count on one hand the amount of times she has been to visit my kids. One of the times she came to “help” with the kids, I went to take a shower and came out to the living room when I was done and my kids (4.5 and 1.5 at the time) were there by themselves with the front door wide open. Went to find my mom and she said “she needed a break”, so she went to the guest room and played solitaire on her iPad with her hearing aid turned off. That was the last time she was left alone with them.

There have also been several times when she has not only been in my state visiting friends, but also been less than an hour drive away and still couldn’t squeeze in a half hour on her way to the airport to see us. We talk on a fairly regular basis, but she never asks to talk to the kids. She constantly forgets their birthdays.

Here’s the kicker. Recently a family member got married. I got us an Air B&B to stay in and I think I saw her for about three hours in that house total. The wedding had open seating (ceremony and reception) and she actively chose not to sit with us.

She is now complaining about not having a relationship with her grandkids. She keeps bringing it up and I bite my tongue every time because I know it would be a huge argument, but I don’t think I can take much more.