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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/frost_flower111 on 2023-09-08 22:56:48.

So I (f38) lost my daughter (15) just 2 weeks ago. She got Leukima 4 years ago and it just ended up spreading throughout her body she fought very hard for a long time. Cancer is such a bitch I watched my poor baby suffer so much because of it.

Anyway, since the loss of my daughter, a lot of people have been trying to comfort me and I understand they are just trying their best but it doesn’t always help. My sister who doesn’t have kids (a personal choice of hers) (f36) specifically has been the worst at trying to help me. A year ago she had to put down her 16 year old cat whom I lost a pet before so I know how difficult that can be but it’s different than losing my actual human daughter. She has said things like I know how you feel about (daughter’s name) because of the loss of (cat name) She was my child. I understand animals are like family but my daughter and her cat aren’t the same. I was trying to just ignore her and let her comfort me with how she felt.

But today she came over and started talking about how she knows exactly how I feel because of her cat. I finally got upset and said no you don’t, yes pets can be part of the family and mean a lot to you I understand losing your cat was hard. But my daughter was my daughter. So until you experience this type of grief and have to see your daughter die slowly from a horrible disease you aren’t allowed to act like losing a cat is the same thing. My sister got mad and called me a heartless AH. I talked to a few people and they agreed that I acted like an AH… so am I