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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Sarcastic_Mnt_Goat on 2023-09-08 17:14:02.

So this is an update from my other two posts on this sub. One was for making the decision to end things with this guy who I will call Steve, the other is for making the decision to keep going to a DND group that we both go to because, although he is still there, I still made a good group of friends who I want to play DND with and I am also not on the same table as my ex so I don’t even have to interact with him

Like I said before, I am not bothered by his presence, I did not do anything to make anyone feel awkward, all I do is smile and wave hi to everyone and I have a blast playing with my friends. I didn’t feel awkward going in because I didn’t think I was with him long enough for that to be a reason for me not to go (we were together for a little less than 2 months)

On the first night I went, everything went smoothly and I enjoyed the game with my friends and then went home. Later at around 3am I get a text message from my ex saying that me being at the Meadery made him feel awkward and that we needed to talk in person to clear the air. I informed him that there is nothing left for us to say as I already explained to him everything he needed to know and I won’t be going anywhere with him alone. He never said anything in response.

The next session came and I continued to have fun with my friends. We played a fun session and after it was over, the DM told me that the guy in charge, let’s call him Mark, wanted to see me. I packed my things and went to see Mark. On the way there I noticed some cold looks from people standing nearby. He told me to sit down and wait for two more people to show up. Shortly after that, two other people, who I know are friends of my ex, came in and stood at a distance, looking at me with expressions on their faces like I ruined their Christmas.

Mark said “so we have made the decision to remove you from the discord and the DND group, after next week you will not be allowed to attend any events with us.” I asked “is there a reason why?” He replied “I think you are aware of the reason why, it is because of your situation with Steve, he has tried to make an attempt to clear the air with you and be civil however you refused to do so.” I said “I told him I didn’t want to talk to him in private because I didn’t feel safe” he said “Ok, but your presence is causing discomfort amongst other members of the group” I said “I said I don’t understand why you guys think I owe him that kind of conversation in private, I can talk to him here in front of you guys if he wants to talk about how things are going to go within these DND sessions, but it needs to be here in front of you guys. Not wanting to talk to him in private was a safety protocol that I set due to past experiences that had nothing to do with him and I just wanted to stay safe”

After saying that, I noticed his tone changed from stern to more relaxed. He said “I think this is something we will have to evaluate further between the other DMs but that is all I can promis now.” I replied “Ok, I’m still trying to understand how this was fair? Why is it me who has to leave?” He said “Well, we made this decision after hearing only one side of the story, his side, and after hearing your side, i think there was a good amount of information we were missing, you know how there are always two sides to a story” I said “ok well let me know what your final decision is” and I waved goodbye and left.

Upon leaving, I told my friends that this is possibly the last time I will be able to see them in this group as I will probably be banned. They all looked at me with a shocked and pissed off expression. I said goodbye and left. As I was leaving, the DM from my table and a fellow player went out and met me and asked me if I was ok. I balled my eyes out in the parking lot and they were comforting me. The DM said “this isn’t over, I can’t make the decisions here but this is not over.” I said thank you and I left.

The next morning, the DM asked me to type out my entire story so that Mark could evaluate the situation further. I went ahead and typed it out and sent it to him. Now they are looking it over

I feel pretty shocked right now, I believed that this group full of adults would have handled this with a lot more maturity. I don’t think it is fair that I have to leave just because someone at a different table doesn’t like me.

Edit: also to clarify, at this point, seeing how they have treated me and how they were so quick to tell to me to scram without bothering to ask for my point of view, I don’t think I will be attending any more events in this group. I do want to avoid being banned because banning me is not fair. I already found a new DND group at a different Meadery that I can go to.

Edit 2: I just got a notification from the guy in charge giving me a full apology for what happened. He apologized for jumping to conclusions and not asking me for my side of the story. He said that they will not make this mistake again. He said that he agrees that I do not owe Steve a conversation and that this issue is now considered resolved. They said I am welcome to come to any event.