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The original was posted on /r/transmedical by /u/throwaway184747271 on 2025-10-24 19:57:36+00:00.
For a while (~12-16) I (17M) planned on having phallo and then I switched to thinking about meta (~16-17) and now I’m thinking that I will need phallo. I hate having to go through any surgery but I accepted that I’ll have to go through it at some point to fully treat this condition and feel at peace with myself. I have significant genital dysphoria and have since I can remember so I’ve always planned on getting bottom surgery (since learning what my options were, before 12 I hadn’t really heard about phallo/meta but I just knew I should have a dick). A large part of the reason why I was leaning towards metoidioplasty is because the healing times aren’t as intense and there aren’t as many stages. Now I’m thinking that I won’t really be able to live and feel ok in my body without a ‘full’ penis (not hating on meta but I don’t think I’d feel genuinely male with just the results of meta). I just hate how unfair this condition is and that I will have to put my life on hold just so I can finally have a male body. I have so many things I want to do and to have to spend so much time on healing from surgeries is stressing me out because I feel like I’m just losing time and opportunities because of this. I’m on testosterone and it’s helped with some sources of dysphoria but it hasn’t magically made me grow a dick and so everyday I have dysphoria and I know I couldn’t live like this for 10 more years and I was planning on getting meta within the next 3ish years but now if I want to get phallo instead the waiting times and healing times and all of the stages would push me out until at least 5 years, likely more than that. I don’t really have another option but I’m struggling to fully accept that.

