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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Accomplished_Day4742 on 2023-09-09 07:47:29.
Big players are me (33f), my best friend (31f), my brother (28m) and my parents.
So for background, my best friend (Janet) and I met in hs where we played softball and my dad was the coach. My brother (Damien) would come to games and film for my dad.
During the “end” of the pandemic, Janet came to live with me because we live in different states now and were both working from home. We missed each other and found it the best opportunity to spend time like it was when we were young. With our history, my family loves her. I would bring her to my parents on random weekends and my brother would sometimes be there too. She’s back home now.
A little into her living with me, Damien messages Janet on insta for a date. She freaks and doesn’t know what to say and it makes her uncomfortable. So, I tell her to blame it on our friendship. Damien is not Janet’s type and since we grew up together she just sees him as a little kid. Immediately after, Damien blocks me on all social media. We kinda ignore that fact in person and it’s not really a big deal, I find it a little funny.
But now, I’m back at my parents taking care of my dad after surgery while mom’s out of state. I asked if Damien could come Sunday so I could go to an optional work event. Damien didn’t answer but later said he was coming for football and came tonight. He hasn’t lifted a finger.
When dad went to bed, Damien told me I’m an ass for blocking him from Janet. I was annoyed with his lack of care over our dad and blaming me over Janet. I decided to tell him all the reasons she didn’t want to go out with him:
- He’s too young for her, at least because she remembers him as the 12 year old boy he was and he’s a little emotionally immature
- She couldn’t see him as a helpful father
- She saw how he had to be begged to help out on mothers day
- She feels he only likes her for her body and bc she likes fishing since they never had a deeper conversation (I agree with this)
- She used our friendship to not hurt his feelings while also shutting it down quickest
I then told him had he given me a heads up before asking her out i would have been able to spare him the embarrassment of getting shut down. Damien then started screaming what a piece of shit I am which woke up dad. This led to my mom getting called and everyone saying I need to reign it in so my dad can get better and he doesn’t need the stress. I agree he doesn’t, but wouldn’t that be on Damien for not being able to accept he can’t get with my friend? Am I really the asshole here?