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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/oskar_grouch on 2023-09-09 08:36:42.

My wife recently started using my first name when referring to me to our preteen kids, as in “Steve’s gonna pick you up from school tomorrow.” I asked her not to when I first heard it, saying I don’t really like when you use my first name to the kids. Can you say “your dad” or “dad”? She said Steve is your name, I don’t see the problem, but I eventually got her to see things my way.

A couple months go by and I had heard her say it periodically, like “Steve can pick what to have for dinner.” Finally today she did it again and I said “babe, I know we talked about it before, but can you please use ‘your dad’ when talking to the kids” and she says “it’s totally subconscious, it’s not like I mean to. You’re probably going to have to remind me again like 50 times”. At this point, I said that’s not really acceptable. If you hear me and respect my wishes, it doesn’t need an excuse or hedging, you can just say OK. She started getting upset, yelling and said I was being difficult and should just accept that she can’t control it. I didn’t think it needed a big discussion, and finally diffused the situation by saying sure, I beleive you’ll try. It just sounded like a cop out for no reason, setting us up for the same discussion some time down the road. AITA here?