**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/headfullofpain** **Originally posted to r/EntitledPeople** **Entitled Siblings Are Convinced Mom Has A Secret Stash Of...
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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-11-01 04:02:06+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/headfullofpain

Originally posted to r/EntitledPeople

Entitled Siblings Are Convinced Mom Has A Secret Stash Of Money

Trigger Warnings: death of a loved one, emotional abuse and manipulation, harassment, medical scare, entitlement, favoritism, elder abuse

Mood Spoilers: worrying

Original Post: July 30, 2025

My brother, SIL, sister and BIL feel as if Mom should give them her house and property and move into an old folks’ home. Or buy them a house. My Mom is almost 80. She has all of her faculties about her. She is well educated and very spry. It’s mostly my Sister and brother causing all the trouble.

A few years ago, my stepdad passed. He was a great guy and good to my Mom. My older brother and my younger sister are convinced that Mom has secret money left to her when (step)Dad died. At first, they thought she had cash hidden in the house. So they’d visit her, and one would keep her busy while the other would “snoop”. Then they convinced themselves that she had a secret bank account somewhere.

No, she doesn’t. I do most of her banking and set up her accounts for autopay. She owns her house free and clear. After Dad died, I orchestrated a GoFundMe to get her house paid off. We were successful. They do not know that I did this. They were kept out of the loop for fear they’d pressure her into giving them some of the money. So they have no idea HOW she paid her house off, only that she had paid it off. They really ramped up the pressure after she paid off the house. Now they are convinced more than ever that she has a secret stash of money.

Then we told them about the GoFundMe for her house, hoping they would back off of Mom. But they lost it. They wanted an accounting of the money, and they wanted anything that was in that account turned over to them. Threatening to take me to court for elder financial abuse.

Now she only has to pay the monthly bills. I set up her auto pay. So I know exactly how much money she has. Enough to live but not to have any fun. So, I pay her water and cellphone bills for her. I transfer the money to her account every month. They have each told her she needs to give them money for a down payment on a house since she “refuses” to give up her home of 35 years. If she won’t give them any money, then give up an acre to them each. How are they entitled to her money? She receives less than 4K a month to live on. I can not convince them that she doesn’t have a secret bank account.

The thing that they do not understand is that he is not our bio father and he didn’t raise us. They married when we were all out of the house. No matter how many times I point this out, they say that it doesn’t matter, since they called him Dad. It’s been a few years, but they still bring it up often. Mom called me last night. She was tired and had worked hard today in her High Tunnel. Both of them had been calling for the last few weeks, upping the pressure. The last time they brought it up, they talked about splitting her house and property between the two of them. Also mentioning her secret bank account.

Uh, there are 5 siblings altogether. BUT since the other three (houses and careers) are doing better than these two, they think they are entitled to her home and property after she passes.

What they do not know is that she left her house and 5 acres to an animal rescue/activist group that she is very active in. I know because I am the executor of the will. She has asked me not to tell them.

How do I get them to back off of her without telling them there’s not a snowball’s chance in Hell that they are getting anything? She does not want them to know about her will, for fear they will harass the animal rescue activist group.

Editor’s note: OOP has answered lots of questions, posting the common questions and responses

Some Relevant Comments

Can OOP’s mother look into getting restraining orders and blocking OOP’s siblings’ numbers?

OOP: I’ve mentioned that to her several times she worked in the legal system for a few decades.And understands how it works. She’s not interested in cutting them off in any way at all, she dearly loves all of her children.

Commenter 1: You might consider reaching out to your local version of Adult Protective Services or other elder social services with your county or state. If you think she is at risk for fraud or other scamming influences, they can advise how to protect her or at least document things should it escalate later.

OOP: That’s what somebody else advised. I didn’t know that you could call them to ask for advice. I thought you only called them to report abuse. This is great advice and I will be doing this first thing in the morning.

Why is OOP sharing those information with her siblings about their mother?

OOP: I only share what she allows me to share. My sister’s the youngest and my brother’s the oldest. Those two have always been the golden children. I’m smack dab in the middle, so i’m the people pleaser. I try to keep everybody happy all of the time. She really doesn’t want to cut contact with them.Because then she feels she’ll lose contact with the grandkids and the great grandkids. She doesn’t want that on their conscience, when she passes. My mom is intelligent and well educated. But she’s also extremely stubborn. Once she’s made up her mind, it’s almost impossible to change it.

Commenter 2: Make sure a lawyer looks at the will. In some jurisdictions leaving a family member out of a will entirely (with no mention of why they are left out) can open it up to being contested. In some places you leave a token amount to demonstrate that they weren’t forgotten.

OOP: Several people have mentioned this and I will go over that with her tomorrow. And then we’ll contact the lawyer that created the will and see about adding them and giving them a buck each.

Commenter 3: Did the witnesses to her signing the will also sign self-proving affidavits, that she is of sound mind and was not under any duress when she signed the will and that she knows what is in it?

One of the ways that greedy relatives successfully contest wills is through the witnesses. They make courts track down the witnesses to get them to either clearly remember your mother signing the will or not remember her and possibly tossing out the will. There’s also the strong possibility that witnesses are dead or have moved and cannot be found, putting the validity of the will in jeopardy.

Witnesses to signing wills are often employees in the lawyer’s office, who don’t know you and will have a difficult time testifying in court that they remember you and your state of mind when you signed a will

https://www.freewill.com/learn/self-proving-affidavit

OOP: Yes! We made sure she was well covered in this aspect because we knew there was going to be issues down the road. And to be honest with you, the house is in disarray, it’s falling apart around her, it needs to be razored. It’s the property that’s worth real money. It’s in a prime location in Alaska.

Commenter 4: You need a really good estate lawyer. Get POA over everything concerning your mom. Maintain detailed financial records and transactions with your mom’s money. That way, they can’t accuse you of financial mismanagement. I hope you are on all of her accounts.

Your mom needs to go LC with them. If you have not done so, put up hidden cameras around your mom’s house and place nanny cams in the house with a link to all cameras to your phone.

The stress could cause her to have a heart attack or stroke. Take care

OOP: This is all great advice. We do have cameras up. That’s how we caught them snooping. Unfortunately after that they know there’s cameras. Yes, my name is on all of her accounts. And I do keep an accounting of everything online on my computer. Which they do not have access to.

What is a High Tunnel?

OOP: It’s a type of greenhouse. It’s huge and it’s like a tunnel. She got it through a government program.

OOP on her mother and the charity (animal rescue/activist group)

OOP: She’s an old farm girl that just loves animals. ❤️ right now, she has three husky pit bull mixes. About a dozen cats she fosters and helps to place in permanent homes. But we grew up with parrots, chickens, geese, ducks, pigs, an occasional goat, lots of dogs, lots of cats, and aquariums. She used to be one of the premier bird rescues, and we have helped foster and rehabilitate crows and eagles.

OOP should get the locks changed for her mother for good measures so her siblings cannot get in

OOP: You know, that’s a good idea. It is time for her to get new locks on her doors. I’m gonna text my husband and see what he thinks because he can just change them for her. Thank you

Any chances that OOP’s siblings were the golden children as of today?

OOP: The youngest was definitely babied. She was born after a miscarriage, and she was a twin. Her twin died at birth.

Commenter 5: These are the kind of people who will break into the property and steal any paperwork looking for bank accoun…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1olells/entitled_siblings_are_convinced_mom_has_a_secret/

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
    1·
    2 days ago

    Commenter 5: These are the kind of people who will break into the property and steal any paperwork looking for bank accounts and safety deposit boxes, and dump the closets and mattresses looking for hidden safes. Talk to your mom about distributing any personal gifts before she passes (like giving away jewelry she wants to go to specific grandchildren etc) as Christmas or graduation gifts. Resign yourself to this not ending well, and consider security cameras for your property too.

    OOP: This. I firmly believe that they would try to steal paperwork if they could find it. Luckily, we had moved out her major paperwork after dad had died. It’s in a safety deposit box.

    OOP’s reason for the GoFundMe after her stepfather’s passing. Was her mother destitute?

    OOP: Yes, she was. His first wife took almost everything. She had let his insurance expire (big mistake), and she was behind on a reverse mortgage and was going to lose the house for less than 20K. I tried to reason with the title company, but they wanted her home for the land. Her land alone is worth a pretty penny, probably close to a quarter million. I set up a GoFundMe to keep her in her home. And at the time, I figured we’d sell everything later for her if she needed it to live on. But she is very active and very spry still. Everyone who donated to the GoFundMe was other family and friends. One close family friend who had worked with my mom for a decade put up 10K herself. I donated 2500. This was the easiest way to reach her family in the States at the time. You try living on 4K a month in a remote village in Alaska.

    • Spacehooks@reddthat.comMEnglish
      1·
      2 days ago

      Update: October 25, 2025 (nearly three months later)

      Update to Entitled Siblings Are Convinced Mom Has A Secret Stash Of Money

      Update: So Many things have changed since my first post. My mom became very ill with vertigo, edema, and went into a-fib. She spent three days in the hospital. They think that there is an issue with her pacemaker. But she and her doctor also suspect her high blood pressure meds. She needs to go to a specialist. She heads there tomorrow.

      During that time, the cat rescue that she WAS leaving her house and property to basically turned their back on her and didn’t go in to help her with the animals that she was caring for. Animals that were dropped off by the rescue. She had to scramble to find outside help and pay for it when the rescue was supposed to help her. Apparently, the rescue had lost a large grant, and they are now telling fosters that they are on their own.

      My mom is fiesty, and that pissed her off, so she decided she’s not leaving them the property and house anymore. She has decided to make me executor of the will with the stipulation that I will sell the property and divide the proceeds among her grandkids and great-grandkids. I will follow her wishes to the letter. She has directed me not to tell any of them what she plans, to let them still think that it is going to a rescue.

      As for you all asking about her income, she lives remotely in Alaska. Her closest store is 35 miles away, one way. If she wants a Walmart, she has to drive 70 miles one way. Her electricity alone is 600-800 a month. Plus, groceries are outrageous. She also has a lot of animals. They keep her alive and happy. She gives 10 percent to her church and another 10 percent to charities. She has to pay for car payments, auto insurance, house insurance, water bill, and gas for the truck. If there is anything left, she puts it on an account at the vet so she has a buffer in case one of her animals needs the vet.

      Relevant / Top Comments

      Commenter 1: Probably stating the obvious but if her will states the property and house go to the rescue she MUST change the will.

      OOP: She knows. She is in the process.

      Commenter 2: Odd timing that her health should change now. Have the Entitleds been visiting?

      OOP: No we are pretty sure the change was brought on by her high blood pressure meds. She is still going to the heart specialist tomorrow.

      Commenter 3: If she’s struggling for money, why the donations?

      OOP: Her church replaced her French drain, replaced her hot water heater, and bought her a hospital bed. So she firmly believes in tithes, as for the other charity, it’s animal rescues. She doesn’t always give them money, but she does a lot.

      Commenter 4: You’ll never convince them there wasn’t a stash of money. If they can’t “find” it while she’s living, they’ll accuse you of stealing it after she’s gone.

      There is nothing that will tear apart a family faster than money.

      Commenter 5: Do get a letter from her doctor that at this time she is of sound mind. This may come in handy should the validity of her will be questioned by your siblings.

      DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

      THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP