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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2025-11-02 04:00:06+00:00.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Glittering-Disk5929

Originally posted to r/AITAH

AITAH For Refusing To Help My Brother After His Ex-Girlfriend “Scammed” Him Out Of Nearly Half The Equity Of His House?

Trigger Warnings: infidelity, emotional abuse and manipulation, possible financial exploitation

Original Post: October 14, 2025

Throwaway Account

I (37f) have an older brother “George” (45m) who isn’t an idiot but he can be lazy. Definitely the type to rely on weaponized incompetence whenever women and girls are around.

Example: He literally acted like he didn’t know where our mom kept the paper plates in the house he lived in for nearly 20 years just so she’d get up, go into the kitchen and make him his plate during the holidays, just one week post her bunion surgery. Side Note - They both tried to passive aggressively make me feel guilty for not offering to fix my adult brother’s so our mom wouldn’t have to do it. Like I wasn’t the only doing the most of cooking and would be doing most of cleaning afterwards.

At age 30 George was given a windfall from our grandfather’s estate (I got something too) and used it as a down payment for a nice five-bedroom house and that easily worth double now. During this time he met Melinda (50f) and she was nice lady. Smart, responsible, hardworking, sweet and very organized. She came into the relationship with a steady job and was upfront about lack of ability to have more children after complications from nearly losing her life giving her to her daughter.

George stated that he was okay with that, but whenever Melinda would bring up his hesitation regarding marriage he’d say that he had complicated feelings about not being able to be a father if he chose to fully commit to her that he needed to process. Saying that since he was willing to look over her fertility issues because he loved her, that she needed to show her love by waiting for him. That line worked for 12 years.

After Melinda moved in George demanded that she pay half the bills and part of his mortgage in exchanging for allowing Melinda’s daughter to move in with her. At the time Melinda had little options as her former landlord was raising the rent too high and she was helping pay for her sister’s medicals bills. Melinda and George justified to everyone by saying what she would’ve had to pay to George was still cheaper in rent at her old place. I said nothing because not my relationship.

Two years ago George was caught cheating and Melinda was furious then left. I don’t know all the details but she came back seeming to work things out. Didn’t stop George from cheating but Melinda shrugged and said that this was still a better deal and so long as kept it from the house she’s cope. Recently there was some type of damage to George’s house and he needed people to come in and fix it, but he hated the labor of searching for a reliable contractor, taking time away from his job/hobbies to deal with them and the paperwork. Melinda offered to do it and he didn’t question it.

Whatever she gave, he signed, and in front of 3rd-Party witnesses. Melinda got George to sign paperwork stating that she was entitled to 45% of his house. Now she’s dumped him and is demanding that George either sell his house or buy her out. George is trying to fight this citing that he didn’t fully understand what he was agreeing to and he’s found a lawyer willing to take his case but his fees are expensive. George and our mom think that I should help, but I’m refusing I don’t see why I have to shell out thousands to save another grown man from his own lack foresight, especially when there’s a good chance he won’t even win. I’m being call heartless and a bad sister, so I have to ask AITAH?

AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received the majority of NTAs and few YTAs

Relevant / Top Comments

Downvoted Commenter: You can’t give a part of the house without a notary contract, whatever he signed he’s an idiot for not reading, he should have left this woman a long time ago

OOP: I believe the 3rd-Party who witnessed my brother sign the document(s) was a licensed Notary.

Commenter 1: NTA. But who is expecting to have more kids with a 50 years old?

For me, it sounds more like he was looking for an excuse to play victim since the beginning of the relationship.

BTW, I’m not the youngest woman and I think this question is important.

OOP: She was in her 40s when they got together, but I agree he was just using that as an excuse.

Commenter 2: I think it’s funny how you say he’s not an idiot and then you go on to explain exactly why he is an idiot.

OOP: I truly don’t believe that my brother is an idiot. He’s just lazy. Like if he actually put in the time and work to actually fact check Melinda wouldn’t have been able to do what she did.

Commenter 3: NTA George had it coming. Stringing that woman along for years, manipulating her by making her feel guilty over not being able to have more children, having her pay half the mortgage for his house and then cheating on her? He made the bed, let him lay in it.

Commenter 4: NTA. Your brother is a cheater and a fool. Was Melinda a bit underhanded? Arguably yes. Does she deserve a share of the house in return for all she paid into it not to mention 12 years of domestic and emotional labor? Arguably also yes.

But when it comes to whether YOU should shell out for your brother’s legal fees, the answer is an unequivocal NO. He was a huge AH and ridiculously careless with his most significant asset, and that’s not your responsibility to fix. He’s an adult, he needs to fix his own mistake.

Commenter 5: NTA. George made bad choices and is responsible for the mess that followed. Further, he is not that intelligent, if he is signing something without reading it.

Melinda may have acted underhanded. But I’m not mad at her about it, because George used her. He strung her along and let her pay rent and mortgage. She is entitled to this share, as she sacrificed years for him. She could have found someone better. She now can, but still the years she wasted on him will never come back.

Anyway, George reaped what he had sowed. It’s deserved. And I wouldn’t want to pay for his mistake, either.

Update: October 26, 2025 (nearly two weeks later)

Quick Recap: Brother and Mother are trying to guilt me into giving my brother money to pay for an attorney in order to prevent Brother’s former long term/live-in girlfriend from getting a payout after he claims she “tricked” him into signing documents making her a partial owner.

Okay there’s been an update and I have to say while I still don’t think my brother is an idiot overall he is a lazy and very arrogant dumbass. I also wanted to clarify a few things as well. Melinda and my brother were in a relationship for 12 years but they only started living together for about 9-10 years. Also the documents were signed in the presence of a Notary who asked my brother if he understood the context of the documents and he affirmed that he did. And to the person who said that my brother was “house poor” you hit the nail on the hammer. My brother spend the majority of his inheritance and savings on buying that house and it barely had any furniture in it. When Melinda moved in she paid to have it furnished on top of splitting the utilities and paying rent.

Now on to the new stuff. When my brother’s house needed fixing he let Melinda do the grunt work of finding reputable establishments to consider because he didn’t want to be bothered. Melinda presented him with up to three options and convinced him to go with Company A (not real name) because they were offering seasonal discounts for first time customers and/or new owners for specific items. Melinda’s “plan” to get the both discounts was to present it as if she recently became the partial owner and had my brother email Company A to see if they’d be willing to accept that. Company A responded that if Melinda recently became part owner of the house then they’d be willing to give a partial discount as a curtsey.

Company A was a small business but with an excellent reputation in terms of service, quality of work, and meeting deadlines so my brother was all in. What my brother didn’t realize was that Company A went by the honor system when it came to Melinda and my brother’s case but on their website it did say proper document needed to be shown so Melinda told my brother that she’d come up with “fake” documents that he could sign in the presence of a Notary that she knew through a friend who was supposed to be in on the scam (they weren’t but that’s what she told my brother). The actual signing was at their home in front of the Notary and two people from Company A who were initially there to survey the area.

So basically my brother thought that he and Melinda were scamming Company A when in reality Melinda was scamming him. He thought the document(s) he was signing were fake but they were real and that’s his defense. This is why he had trouble finding a lawyer. Wouldn’t blame anyone here who thought that this was fake because wtf.

So anyway I’m not going to give him the money but I will give him a list …

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