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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/bigmanbeats on 2025-11-01 21:55:59+00:00.

So this all started a few months ago when I met my new neighbor. Nice guy, mid-50s, retired car salesman, very chatty. We’re making small talk one day and he asks what I do for a living. For reference, I actually do work at a hospital… but I’m not a doctor. Over the years I’ve learned to stay vague about my job because the second you say “I work in healthcare,” people either start telling you about every rash they’ve ever had or get weirdly defensive about their eating habits. So I just said, “Oh, I work down at the hospital, in the medical field.”

Harmless, right?

Apparently not.

For context, I live in a house that looks nice from the street. It’s big, kind of stately even, but that’s only because I inherited it from a rich grandparent. I am not rich. The driveway is cracked, half my gutters are held up by a wing and a prayer, and the lawn is constantly in some stage of “almost mowed.” But to someone driving by, I can see how it might scream “doctor money.”

Fast forward a few weeks, my neighbor and I are talking about cars. He used to sell them, so I ask what he thinks about a certain model. He laughs and says, “Well, look, just because you can afford it on a doctor’s salary doesn’t mean you should go buying something flashy.” I laughed and was getting ready to tell him but midway through our conversation he got a call (like I said he’s chatty in that he monologues a lot and it’s hard to get a word in edgewise).

I told my wife later that I think the neighbor things I’m a doctor and I didn’t get a chance to correct him and we both got a chuckle out of it. We thought it was funny and decided to just let it ride. Inside joke. No harm, no foul. Also, I know he talks to a lot of the other neighbors a lot who know I’m not a doctor and I figured he would just eventually hear through the grapevine that I’m not so no biggie.

A little while later, he calls me one evening. Says another neighbor fell and hit her head, and asks if she should go to the doctor. I’m thinking this is just a normal “neighbor check-in” kind of thing, so I say something like, “I mean, yeah, she should probably get checked out, just in case it’s a concussion.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but that apparently confirmed in his mind that Dr. bigmanbeats was making a house call by phone.

From there, it escalated. Slowly at first. “Hey bigmanbeats, you think this looks bad?”(with accompanying photo) “Are you allowed to write me a prescription for X?” “What’s the best over-the-counter thing for acid reflux?”

Every time, I’d dance around it like, “Sorry I can’t help you with that”, or “Hmm, I’m not sure, you should have your doctor take a look at that.” I’d say it in the most neutral, noncommittal way possible, thinking he’d eventually catch on. I probably should have just ripped the bandaid off but I unfortunately passed that point where it would be awkward to correct him.

If anything, my vague answers reinforced his belief that I was some kind of humble physician trying to avoid liability. A different neighbor later told me that my neighbor said to him, “He’s so busy being a doctor he doesn’t have time to even fix his house or mow his lawn.” My neighbor thought him thinking I’m a doctor was equally as hilarious as my wife and I did and didn’t tell him either.

At this point, it’s been months. As far as I know he still thinks I’m Dr. bigmanbeats, the neighborhood doctor who lives in the big house with the bad lawn. I eventually told him before at the next HOA party heaven forbid someone has a heart attack and he comes to me to save the day and I had to break it to him I’m just a humble healthcare worker.

TL;DR: I told my neighbor I work at the hospital and stayed vague to avoid weird questions. He assumed I’m a doctor, which I initially found funny, but because I never corrected him, it slowly escalated until he now thinks I’m his personal neighborhood doctor and ended up having a super awkward conversation with him about it.